Good bye Dear Husband

15. Second chances?

Dear Husband,

Do you remember the day, when you'd messaged my father, that you want to get divorced, as I was not living with you,.....

Again my foolish little mind took me back to you to save my marriage, to try to reason with you.....

My father had said that it'll be very good, atleast I'll have another chance at improving my life...... But I'd told him that I'm married and it'd be better if I try to save my relationship rather than ending it.

Which relationship doesn't have ups and downs. I had blind faith that may be someday you will care for me too, in the same way you care for your family.

So, the next day, I told my mother I want to talk to you and went to Jaipur to meet you, alone.
Without even informing my father, as he was not allowed to use phone in his office.

I called you to meet me at the railway station, you took me to a park nearby and we'd talked about why did you send a message like this to my father and you'd said that, because you don't have a phone and he's is the one stopping me to talk to you......

I'd told you to at least try to find a job and earn, even if it's little, I was ready to manage.....

You took me back to your home, even though I refused to go as it was pitra paksh and no married girl should travel to her home or in law's home.....

You'd said that you'll talk to my parents and inform them, but you didn't. I'd asked your parents to come and talk to my parents and solve this issue, this bitterness between them. They'd agreed to come during Navratri festival...... I was happy again.

Finally both the families will be together....

The next day when I went back, my father was very angry that I had resigned from the job within two months, and am ready to go back to the person who'll never care enough for me and he's only manipulating me for his selfish reasons. He'd tried to reason with me but I was such a fool, that I didn't pay any heed to his advice.

He'd told me to leave the house and go back to you, I was upset again.....
And I had called you to come and take me back.

So, I FORGIVE MYSELF for thinking that you ever wanted to stay with me.

To think that i can try to mend something which wasn't even there.....

To try to get back with you, to stick with you when you clearly never wanted me.......

For believing in your lies when your words and actions were completely opposite......