...
Thunder was lost.
He knew that for sure, and he let it all happen. The darkness seem to welcomed him as it wrapped around the boy. He sees nothing there. It was just him, darkness, and the emptiness that is consuming him right now.
Thunder knew this will happen, somehow he feels a bit happy. Happy because his friends manage to run away. Happy because he knew they are safe.
The boy wonder how they would react if they knew what he had done. His life was a cycle of a never ending torture, Thunder felt disgusted.
He's not pure, his virginity was taken away from him and Thunder was ashamed with himself. But, the feeling soon disappeare and will be replaced by none other than hollow.
What was hope for him?
Why was he so curious with that word?
Thunder wasn't sure about the answer. His whole life was played like a nightmare in his head yet, Thunder was too naive.
The little him wonders what is hope and Thunder could see past him talking with his father, asking about the meaning of that word.
Hope...
The only thing he got for answer was a silent.
The past him even googled what is the meaning of hope, and why everyone seems to always talked about it.
Hope
noun
• A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen
• A feeling of trust
verb
Want something to happen or be the case.
Just by looking at the exact meaning left our little Thunder confused.
Thunder sigh, he remembered exactly what he had hope for...
A lovely family, happiness and a desire to find friends (in which he had to 2 back then) was all the things little him had wished and wanted.
But just like that, everything fell apart. The hope was lost once again and past Thunder once again felt the void coming back.
And then he was brought back to that word when Cyclone and Quake came to his life. For once, Thunder felt a bright happy feeling inside him in which almost made him chocked out a sob.
Sadly... it was once again taken away so harshly from him. They promised to take him away too...
But they left first, leaving him once again as he feels the regret rising.
Thunder laugh, oh how his life looks like a dramatic movie as he remembered everything.
"Oh little old me..." he started with a sad smile.
"How I wished you weren't so naive... both of us wouldn't feel like we're being played... like some doll we are now," he said, a hint of sorrow in his voice.
He remembered the fight, he remembered his mother, the news of his father's death, Cyclone's suicide, his cousin, Quake's incident, his son dying, and his wife running away like a coward.
Thunder remember all of them. He's not the type to forget so easily, and the boy hate that.
He wished he could forget this. Thunder laughed when he still called himself a boy until now even though he's already a grown man.
"Oh little old me... how are you going to react when you found out... that the future you is now like this...?" he bite his lips.
A laughter escape his lips once again, a broken one as he covered his face with both of his arm.
"Oh little old me... I'm sorry..." he chocked out a sob.
"I'm so... so sorry for being so broken..." he repeat those word for a few minute before closing his eyes.
"There's no more hope for us... hope is gone," he continued, letting his tears fall to the never ending darkness.
"I lost hope... I'm sorry for breaking our promise..."
Thunder woke up and let out a sob.
"I'm so sorry for being alive..."
That night, he finally broke down.
Here's something to make it up to you, my fellow reader from my other acc- for not continuing any of my books yet.
This is based on my Indo story book, Tali Temali.
At least I know that my skill on writing and Eng are still there.
