Breakout Rooms (#4)

l o c k d o w n

"Best believe I'm clapping on the plane the first place I go after lockdown." – ELLE UK

Dedication: stormysky- because your comments always make me smile :)

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"You've reached the serial killer hotline, how may I assist your murder?"

"Oh, hey. I've got a few targets in mind, actually. I'd like to introduce you to my buddies: stress, laziness, and booze."

"Ooh, I think they'd be a great match for my pals: executive dysfunction and insomnia."

"Ah, well, looks like we both got the short end of the stick."

"How've things been, lately?"

"Honestly? Not great. Online classes are kicking my ass already."

"Same. It's only been a week, and I already miss the awful click-clack of Type A students frantically writing notes, or the ones who stumble in 40 minutes late with booze on their breath and hickeys on their neck."

"Well, I miss the burritos, chicken wings, bubble tea. Oh man, the bubble tea, Pomegranate! Heaven in a cup."

"I know! Their lychee green tea? It's my kryptonite. God, I miss it so much."

"Well, I guess it's better to social distance than be sorry."

"Yeah, and we can always get bubble tea delivered straight to our doors, right?"

"..."

"..."

"It's not the same!"

"I know! I can't even convince myself."

"Well, we just have to hold out for a while longer."

"God, I hope they make a vaccine soon."

"This pandemic has to fizzle out eventually... right?"

"For better or for worse."

"For richer or poorer."

"In sickness and in health."

"To love and to cherish."

"Till the lack of bubble tea do us part."

"Amen."

"Dude, are we married now?"

"Not on my watch! We need an officiant. I hope you're thinking of the same person I'm thinking of."

"Sam from the bubble tea store?"

"Yeah! I think he's got a soft spot for me. He always gives me extra tapioca pearls, free of charge."

"Dude, that's probably because they're expired. He's trying to get rid of them before someone notices that something's up."

"Oh. Well, that probably explains my rampant indigestion issues. I thought I was just lactose intolerant."

"Well, looks like you're all clear to eat however much ice cream you want."

"Man, I wish. Even the local ice cream store has gone delivery only."

"What, Maccas? It's not like their soft serve machines ever worked in the first place."

"What's Maccas? Sounds like a cheap offshoot of Starbucks."

"You're not too far off. It's Australian slang for McDonalds. We like to shorten as many words as we can, remember?"

"Care to jog my memory?"

"Well, we don't call isolation by its full name anymore. It's iso. We're all in iso now."

"Oh, that makes sense. You've taught me more in one sentence than Zoom university has taught me in a week."

"Thanks, Space Jam. It's my specialty."

"Hey, Pomegranate, it's been days and you still don't have a replacement for Space Jam? Tsk tsk, so slow."

"Give me a break! I've had to balance your humongous head on top of all my other assignments. It's almost rolling off."

"Whoa, don't drop it! My brain's rattling around in there, that's where this witty banter comes from."

"Yeah, I'm sure your singular brain cell is working overtime."

"His name's Miguel and he's a champ. Put some respect on his name."

"Well, I'm sure Miguel doesn't like tumbling around in your thick skull all day."

"He's learning rhythmic gymnastics! It's an educational experience."

"Speaking of education, I've got a classics assignment due tonight. Dr. Boring has been on my ass about it for weeks."

"Uh, I know ancient history isn't the most thrilling of topics, but 'Dr. Boring' seems harsh, don't you think?"

"Bro, that's his real name. Check out the faculty list, it's smack dab at the top."

"Well, I stand corrected."

"You should have more faith in me next time, Dr. Doofus."

"Is that the Space Jam replacement?"

"It's a work in progress."