Calling you and other Poems

Calling you...

A familiar face, amid the group of strangers,

A comforting presence by my side

Or, were you a vessel of carefree days,

Of a time when we all are naïve but filled with hope?

Who are you, to me? Did I ever even stop,

To think twice of your worth to me?

Weren't there times when my phone rang and rang,

And your name showed on top, yet I didn't answer?

Still, I never ignored you, never wanted to do so,

Why should I? You were fun to talk to

Then why didn't I pick up the phone? Was it because,

You were that familiar face in the crowd, that I thought

Would always be there?

Yes, I was busy then – I'm sure you understood,

Well, I will make it up to you someday -

It's been so long since I heard your voice,

Maybe I should call you...

I picked up on the third ring,

Your cheerful voice greeted my ears

You laughed at my forgetfulness,

And said that it was no big deal.

You rambled on and on, my eyes strayed

Away to the big clock hung over the fireplace,

Was I getting bored of you? Course not. You're going

To be there. Can't we talk later?

Tring! Tring! You picked up on the

First ring – a trembling voice reached my ears,

"Are you sick?" Very sick? I hope you,

Get better very soon.

Your gentle reassurance reached my ears,

"No, I am better now." My worry slipped away

Did I not care? That's not it, but somewhere inside

I knew that you would stand up again,

You always did.

I so wanted to call you today, but

I forgot – it's okay, you'd say,

So I believed, that it was okay to forget

I was sure that you would always understand.

What did we not talk about? Memories,

Work, worries, secrets, things

Thrown deep inside and doubly padlocked,

Talk and listen – our very own routine.

Gosh, time flies – it's been half a month,

I truly am forgetful, ain't I?

Don't worry! You were always there on my mind,

Just like you were there in my life.

Good! Today I've got some time,

Maybe a little talk won't hurt?

But I must be cautious, not more than an

Hour. I have got my priorities too.

I'm sure you'll understand.

Tring! Tring! You didn't pick up at the first

Ring. My mind reasoned,

"Maybe she is busy." So, of course

I decided to wait.

Tring! Tring! No response. I frowned,

Were you upset on me for not calling before?

Or maybe you couldn't just hear your

Phone ring. It won't hurt to wait a bit longer.

I'm getting impatient. Tring! Tri- "Hello?"

Ah good, finally someone picked it up. But,

The voice – I'd never heard it before. Who?

An acquaintance of... yours?

Click. The call ended. The phone,

Dangled uselessly from my fingers – my face

Pale, eyes wide, lips parted slightly in a silent scream,

How... could this... have happened?

She passed away this morning. She was hospitalized... Passed?

What do you mean passed away? She's gone... forever?

I'm sorry. What sorry? What is it going to do

You moron? Will it bring her back?

Will it bring her back...

But, she was supposed to be here, she was

Supposed to get well. Yes, I know,

Death comes to all and it will. But,

Just like this... without a word?

Who do you think you are, huh?

What were you to me, that I couldn't decipher...

Somewhere, in the criss-cross of familiarity,

Did I take you for granted?

It shouldn't, still it hurts a lot,

Why? The question quivers in the air

Before slowly dissolving with a sizzle,

In the acid guilt bubbling through my veins.

How was I chittering, few minutes

Ago, for your phone ringing up on me,

That impatience – then what did you feel,

Waiting for my call for weeks to the end?

I tried your other number. Nothing but

Static met my ears. I blankly wondered,

If you, waiting for just one call or two

From your friends, listened to the same static again and again,

Checking if your phone was still working or not.