Promises of a Sacrificial Lamb |Destiel x The Hunger Games|

-25-

It's still just barely past dawn when I leave the hollow and get my bearings.  Golden rays of the rising sun pierce through the canopy and awaken the rainforest around me, bringing forward a new day.  If I'm quick, maybe I can beat some of the other tributes to the Cornucopia and get the supplies I need before they arrive.  It's early.  It's possible that most of them were still sleeping or far away from the glade the Games first began in when Claudius made his announcement.  With that in mind to fuel my determination, I start speed walking.

Journeying into the unknown, potentially certain doom, brings a slew of thoughts to mind.  I wonder how excited and eager the people of the Capitol are about the restocking of the Cornucopia.  Usually I think scenarios like these are called feasts, big events that are sure to lure in the tributes who are desperate for life-saving supplies.  I suppose I'm one of those desperate tributes, aren't I?  Here I am, well aware that I'm waltzing straight into a trap that will undoubtedly end with bloodshed so I can save my district partner.  I just hope it won't be my blood that gets spilled.

Then my mind wanders away from the twisted Capitol citizens and focuses on home.  Whenever feasts happen, almost everyone gathers in the square to watch, especially if their own tributes are still alive.  I wonder if the people of District 9 are gathering there now, watching in fear and apprehension as I make my way to the Cornucopia in search of that vital antivenom.  Is my family there, surrounded by the support of the rest of the district?  Charlie, too?  What about Cas' family?  I can't even imagine what they must be going through right now.  So much rests on this one feast.  My life, Cas' life.  Whatever happens in that glade is going to decide whether or not District 9 has a shot at obtaining new victors.

But no pressure or anything, right?

It's a futile task to ignore my own worries about everything that could go sideways out there.  Instead I let the terrible thoughts come and go, try to redirect my anxious attention to the peaceful rainforest around me.  I haven't traveled by myself since the beginning of the Games.  It feels wrong without Cas by my side, with only a switchblade and my own inner voice to keep me company.  I hope he'll be okay in the hollow while I'm out.  It hardly looks like a hollow from the outside, so I'm relying on the fact that no one will stumble across it and find him when he's weak and unable to defend himself.  I'll just make sure to get the antivenom and return as fast as I can.

Thinking about him makes another confusing burst of warmth trickle through my body.  He said he liked me, more than a friend.  I think about all the times I caught him looking at me, all the embraces where he held onto me like he never wanted to let me go.  And the way he dodged Caesar Flickerman's question about if he had feelings for any of the tributes.  I was probably the answer.  I suppose I had an inkling, deep down in my subconscious, that there was something more to the glint in his eyes whenever we exchanged smiles, spent time together, but nothing could've prepared me to hear those intimate words come directly from him in such a grave moment.

And how do I feel about him?  Truth is, I'm not entirely sure, and trying to piece together my jumbled and messy emotions only confuses me more.  I've caught him staring and felt something in return, but I don't know what.  I feel safer than ever whenever our arms are wrapped around each other, but maybe I just trust him with my life.  I enjoy his company and adore all the conversations we have, but maybe his personality is just compatible with mine.  He's kind.  He's caring. He's reliable, funny, shy, endearing.

He's attractive, too.

I don't know what to think anymore.  That warmth in my chest is only growing, overwhelming me and my muddled feelings.  I don't know if it's just a deep caring for someone I trust, another piece of my home here with me in this nightmare, or if it's something more.  I'm skeptical to call it love because I've never experienced such a thing.  Not in the romantic sense, anyway.  I've only ever known familial love, and what I'm feeling right now certainly isn't that.  It's different.  Scarier, more perplexing, but also more electrifying.  I'm not quite sure what it is, and I've only ever felt it when we've touched, locked eyes, been in close proximity.