Random Koova writings <3

Love Letter (koova)

 

“Jordan-

    I’m only ever going to do this once, so hold on to this letter, asshole. I’m not one for grand romantic fucking gestures so this is a step for me. I feel like a complete fucking sap for writing this but it’s about time I put it down in writing for you because I need you to know how I feel about you.

I love you Jordan.

    Yeah I know, you already know but just for once, I’m going deeper and explaining why I love you. Let’s start from the beginning. When I met you all those years ago, I thought you were an idiot, and don’t even get your panties in a bunch-we both know you were (and still are). Anyways we started working together more, doing more and more collabs together. You slowly became a friend, a damn good one. Then when I moved out to Colorado in 2012, everything got better. I got to actually meet you and the other guys and it was the best. I grew closer to you and….

I started to see you as more than a friend.

    It took a while. I didn’t even realize I saw you like that until the Asgard series. Spending that time with you, laughing and recording was so amazing. Even when we brought the other guys it in was still the best. Every video I brought you in for was great and everyone loved it, but I know that no one loved it more than I did. When we moved into the second house I was alone, and I found myself waiting for those times you’d come over to record or just hang out. You became my best friend, Jordan.

      I realized quickly though that I was having more than platonic feelings for my best friend and that’s part of the reason I pulled away when Aleks joined. I was panicking. I didn’t want you to see what I was hiding because I couldn’t lose you. I knew I couldn’t be without my big, dumb, tall bosscat. Still though, my problem didn’t go away. How could I have possibly known that you felt the same way about me? What surprises me though is that we both waited so long to act on it. When we moved to the office things got better yet. We grew as a company and a family (and if you ever tell the guys I said that I will fucking kill you, Jordan!). We lost Sly but gained Kevin and Dex and things were good!

I’m getting sidetracked though.

    I remember the night we confessed to each other. I remember it clear as a bell because it was the best day of my life. We were just lucky it was only us in the office. I just…I remember seeing you in the door to my office, smiling at me. I don’t even remember why because all I can remember was being pulled out of my chair and slammed against the wall. I remember letting your hands wander over every inch of my skin and damn, you were fucking hot. Everywhere you touched me tingled and I wanted more. It was when we pulled apart for air that it got better. When you told me-

“James, I love you.”

     Just thinking about it while I’m writing this brings tears to my eyes. How did I get so fucking lucky to have the most handsome and sweetest man in the world? I don’t know but right now I don’t care to think about it. I need to tell you what I love about you. I love the way you’re curled around me when I wake up. I love the way you smile and your eyes light up. I love when you’re out of cereal and you whine because you wanted your stupid fucking cereal for breakfast. I love the way you glare at me when you get upset because the way your eyes glitter when you’re angry is devastatingly beautiful. I love it when you take long showers and use up the hot water. I love the way you annoy me or piss me off. I love your shrill fucking scream. I love your moans too. I love how hard and hot you get for me, the way you respond to every touch. The way those blue eyes dilate when you’re so turned on and needy for me. I love the way it feels when you pound into me. I love the way you make me scream and beg for more. I love when you let me control you and play with you as long as I want. I love how it feels when you come inside of me. But that’s not all I love, Jordan.

    I’m writing this in bed in the middle of the night and I love getting to watch you. You look so damn peaceful and beautiful that I feel like the last few months that you and I have spent together have been a dream. I love the way your eyes flutter when you’re dreaming. I love how warm and comfortable it is when you hold me. I love waking up and seeing you staring back at me. God damn it, I love YOU.

     Jordan Mathewson, I love you so much. You make me a better man and I know that I want to keep this going until we’re both old and grey and our goddamn balls hit the fucking floor. I won’t ever stop telling you just how much I love and appreciate you. I know I can be a dick to you but I will always work my hardest to give you what you want. I will work to deserve you because you are a treasure. You are my treasure, and I swear I will always love you.

     Well I think I hit the end of my little sappy fucking letter. I’m going to leave it on the kitchen counter so you find it when you go to make your breakfast (yes I did pick up your cereal). I’m going to smile when you open the door and I’ll be sitting up in bed to tell you, with the most sincere smile that I have, that-”

     Jordan smiled happily, wiping the tears from his face. James’ letter had been one of the sweetest things the older man had ever done for him. He finished his breakfast and rushed up the stairs, eager to see James’ handsome face grinning back at him. He paused at the door, however, needing to take a deep breath. When he felt calm, he slowly opened the door. James was in the bed, sitting up. He’d been staring out the window but when he had heard Jordan open the door, he turned around.

Jordan was speechless. The early morning light hit James’ face just right, making the ear splitting grin that much more radiant. He could say nothing as James got up, walking over to him. He let out a little gasp when the raven haired man grabbed both his hands gently. Their eyes met and both men smiled. James’ mouth opened and the brunet knew James was going to pick up where his letter had left off.

“I love you, Jordan.”