Baby Bender | Andrew Clark

five

massie's pov

carl the janitor walks into the library. i like carl, he's a great guy. he's the only person besides john that believes that i'm not like john. 

"brian, how you doing?" carl asks brian.

"your dad works here?" john asks brian. embarrassment flushes over brian's face. "uh, carl?"

"what?" carl asks.

"can i ask you a question?" john asks.

"sure." carl replies.

"how does one become a janitor?" john asks.

"you wanna be a janitor?" carl asks.

"no. i just wanna know how one becomes a janitor, because andrew here, is very interested in perusing a career in the custodial arts." john replies.

"oh, really? you guys think i'm just some untouchable peasant? peon, huh? maybe so, but following a broom around after shitheads like you for the past eight years i've learned a couple of things. i look through your letters, i look through your letters. i listen to your conversations, you don't know that but i do. i am the eyes and ears of the institution my friends. by the way, that clocks twenty minutes fast." carl says, causing everyone to groan, but john smiles.

"shit!" andrew mutters. 

john starts to whistle a marching tune, causing everyone in the room to join in. we continue whistling the marching tune for a good two minutes before vernon walks in. john starts to whistle a new tune, beethoven the fifth.

"alright girls, that's thirty minutes for lunch." vernon announces.

"here?" andrew questions.

"here." vernon states.

"well i think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir." andrew says.

"well, i don't care what you think, andrew!" vernon states.

"uh, dick? excuse me, rich. will milk be made available to us?" i ask.

"we're extremely thirsty, sir." andrew adds on.

"i have a very low tolerance for dehydration, sir." claire adds.

"i've seen her dehydrate, sir. it's pretty gross." andrew says.

john stands up. "relax, i'll get it."

"ah, ah, ah. grab some wood there, bub!" vernon says. john grins. "what do you think, i was born yesterday? you think i'm gonna have you roaming these halls?"

"you!" vernon points to andrew. "and you, baby bender. you always say you're not like your big shot brother, get up. there's a soft drink machine in the teachers lounge. let's go!"

i get up and roll my eyes. i follow andrew out the door on the way to the teachers lounge.

"so, what's your poison?" andrew asks.

"what the fuck are you talking about?" i say.

"what do you drink?" he asks.

"why do you care?" i ask.

"you're still pissed at me, huh?" he asks.

"i have every right to be pissed at you. you don't just assume things about someone's family." i say.

"you're the one who asked claire if she was a lady of the night!" he says.

"well how does she get her money then? she looks rich, i look poor. if i was a lady of the night, i wouldn't look like shit." i say.

"alright. i'm sorry." he apologizes.

"whatever." i say.

"c'mon, massie. i hurt you, i know that. it wasn't my intent. you're a good kid, i understand." he says.

"what do you mean 'you're a good kid'? you don't know jack shit about me. you're just like everyone else. you see john, then you see me. 'school criminal's sister is a girl version of john bender'. that's all i ever hear. don't you ever say i'm a good kid. just stick to your own life, okay?" i yell, not loud enough for vernon or the others to hear.

"you're back! he didn't try anything nasty on ya, massie?" john asks. i roll my eyes. my old man didn't give john or myself anything for lunch. he says we have to earn it. 

john's pov

"what's in there?" i ask claire who has taken a bag out of a small shopping bag.

"guess, where's your lunch?" she asks.

"you're wearing it." i smirk.

"you're nauseating." she replies. i chuck allison a coke and she catches it without looking. claire sets up a platter of food, which looks absolutely disgusting.

"what's that?" i ask.

"sushi." she answers.

"sushi?" i question.

"rice, uh, raw fish and seaweed." she says.

"you won't accept a guys tongue in your mouth and you're gonna eat that?" i ask, disgusted.

"can i eat?" she asks.

"i don't know. give it a try." i say.

andrew then takes a couple of sandwiches out of his bag, along with a bag of potato chips, an apple, a banana, a bag of cookies and carton of milk. andrew looks at claire and i staring at him.

"what's your problem?" andrew asks. claire and i look away.

i decide to go over to brian and see what he's having.

"what're we having?" i ask.

"uh, it's your standard, regular lunch, i guess." he replies. i grab a thermos out of brian's bag and point at it.

"milk?" i ask.

"soup." he replies. i pull out a juice box, brian goes to take my hand away but i slap his hand. 

"apple juice." he says.

"i can read. PB & J with the crusts cut off. well brian, this is a very nutritious lunch, all the food groups are represented. did your mum marry mr. rogers?" i ask.

"uh, no, mr. johnson." he states.

"ahh." i say.

massie's pov

"here's my life at big bri's house!" john says, getting my attention.

(italic is the son, bold is the dad, normal is the mum.)

"son!"

"yeah, dad?"

"how's your day, pal?"

"great, dad! how's yours?"

"super! say son, how'd you like to go fishing this weekend?"

"great, dad! but i've got homework to do."

"that's alright, son! you can do it on the boat!"

"geee!"

"dear, isn't our son swell?"

"yes dear, isn't life swell?"

john then mimics the mother and father kissing. then he mimics the father punching the mother in the face. it wasn't funny anymore. everyone's faces dropped.

"alright, what about your family?" andrew asks.

oh god, please no.