-A Little Help- (KuroKen)

6

-Slight mention of self harm-

(Kenmas POV)

Summer was beginning to come to an end as second term would be starting soon. To be honest I wasn't ready to let go of the warm weather and endless days in the park with Kuroo. It had been fun. Would school be any different in Tokyo? Would it be just like every other school I went to? In less than a week I'll get my answers, good or bad. 

Currently it was 1 in the afternoon and I was waiting in my living room for Kuroo who said he had a surprise for me. I felt good waiting in my living room for a friend to bring me somewhere they thought I'd enjoy. I've warmed up to the idea of Kuroo as my friend even if it's only been a few weeks. I still worried though, would he still be my friend if he knew about everything that went on in my mind.

I'd had quite a few run-ins with those three kids from outside the store and while I hadn't passed out again the encounters still weren't good. They left me with small cuts and bruises which I had to pass off as being clumsy to Kuroo and my parents, the ladder was easier to fool than the former unfortunately. I think he knows somethings up and even though he keeps asking I can't bring myself to say it. Would he ditch me if he thought I was weak? I tried, I really did try to stop the cuts but I had fallen back into an old habit that day and I can't get out. 

I kept thinking back to what Kuroo said in my dream, "Kenma. You don't need to hurt yourself anymore ok?" At first I thought Kuroo had really said it but how would he have known I was doing that? And secondly, why would he have cared? The only explanation I could think of was that my mind had made up what I wish Kuroo would say to my face. Coping mechanisms are funny like that. My thoughts were interrupted by two knocks on my front door, must be Kuroo. I jumped up to answer it.

"Kenma! Are you ready to go?" His hair was as messy as ever, however, his outfit was different then usual. Even though it was August he wore shorts and a hoodie just like me. We were practically dressed the same he was just missing the bun I had in my hair. I hadn't made a comment but I assume he saw me staring because he spoke up, "If you're gonna wear a hoodie I'm going to wear one too!" I walked out the door, following Kuroo as he led me through the streets of our neighborhood. 

I was trailing slightly behind Kuroo but he didn't seem to notice, at least not at first. Then, from the corner of my eye I saw them, the three boys that had been bothering me all summer. The three third years who had nothing better to do then torment me. They began to stalk over me but once they caught sight of Kuroo they stopped. "Hey you coming Kenma!" Kuroo yelled back at me, I watched the boys retreat and I jogged up to Kuroo. Did Kuroo save me? Were they scared of him? I wonder what Kuroo was like in school to make them walk away? Or maybe they were friends of Kuroos? Would friends of Kuroos hurt me? Does that mean Kuroo will eventually hurt me? The mere thought of that quickened my breathing and began shaking my hands. "Are you ok?" I looked up to see Kuroo staring me down, concern written all over his face. Recently his face has looked like this alot. Was I doing this to him? Was I stressing Kuroo out?

"I'm fine." I was surprised I managed to get any words out at all. Kuroo grabbed my shaking hand and pulled me along with him. The smell of sweets and baked goods entered my nose.

"I don't know why you lie Kenma." He gripped my hand tighter and the warmth from his hand itself was enough to calm my shaking. I took a deep breath and tried my best to push away my thoughts and relax. "Anyways, we're here." He looked up at the building in front of us with a huge grin plastered on his face.

"A bakery?" Why a bakery? Maybe Kuroo liked something here. Did he come here often? "Do you come here often?" Huh that was strange. Usually the questions in my head remain there but now I find it easy to ask Kuroo these questions, some of them at least.

"Nope." He popped the p as he spoke. "I've never been actually but I heard they have the best apple pie in Tokyo. I know you love apple pie!" Ahh so Kuroo came here for me. That made me happy. Kuroo came all this way so I could have the best of my favorite food, it made my heart skip just thinking about it. I looked down in embarrassment, I wanted to avoid his gaze. Why was I embarrassed? He dragged me inside, still holding my hand tightly.

After getting a table and ordering us two apple pies we waited patiently for the food to come. Making small talk, which was becoming easier for me.

"Are you ready to go to school? You'll love Nekoma and everyone in the volleyball club." I had almost forgotten I told Kuroo I would join it. I was kinda scared to join with all those new people but I promised Kuroo I would at least try.

"I'm kinda nervous." It was strange being honest, I still worried what Kurro would think of me if I told him everything on my mind. He always told me to just tell the truth and to not hide anything, I was still getting used to it.

"You'll do great! Plus I'll be there to help and I promise I'll keep an eye on you." I internally smiled feeling slightly less nervous and worried. Before I knew it the pies were being placed in front of Kuroo and I. I uttered a quiet thank you before the waitress left. "There's another 1st year, Yamamoto, I think you two will get along, you should try talking to him when you join." I nodded my head and looked down at my food. Making one friend was shocking enough for me, was I really gonna be able to make two? The thought seemed impossible. Would I be alone in the volleyball club besides Kuroo? What happens if Kuroo misses practice one day? "Kenma?" I was pulled from my thoughts and looked up at Kuroo. "You can tell me when you get worried you know. I can practically see you from shaking from here. Are you good?"

"I'm fine." Well that was a lie. I hated lying to Kuroo but the thought of him knowing everything made me feel nauseous. He sighed and looked down at his plate. It was clear he wasn't satisfied with that answer.

The walk home was quiet, neither of us talked. There was a tension in the air that hadn't dissipated since our last conversion. Was he made I lied to him? Would he yell at me? Suddenly he stopped walking, but since I wasn't paying attention I walked right into him. He turned to face me and grabbed my shoulders. He stared me down for a few seconds before he spoke.

"Kenma listen." I gulped in fear. Was this it? Was he gonna tell me he was done with me? Was he tired of me not talking much? Of me lying? "I can tell when you're lying and I can tell when you're nervous. I've seen you shake when you get spoken too or looked at. But listen to me, Kenma. You can trust me. Tell me anything I won't judge you and I won't leave. I understand if you're not ready. I don't know what's happened to you exactly but I can't keep pretending any longer that I don't see what's going on." As soon as he started he stopped. He let go of my shoulders and turned away continuing the walk home.

I, on the other hand, couldn't move or think. What the fuck just happened. I don't understand, how much does Kuroo know? Can I tell him everything? He said he wouldn't leave but does he really know what's going on? I know he promised but... you can trust me. Right, he said I could trust him but I'm no stranger to people lying to me. "You coming?" I looked up at him waiting for me. He waited for me. He said he wouldn't leave me and he didn't. I rushed up to him and walked by his side home. Something about this feels right. We didn't speak anymore on the way home but it was a comfortable silence. Giving me time to process my thoughts and plan my next move.

(Kuroos POV)

It felt good to get that off my chest although I felt a little bad for scaring him. When I looked into his eyes I could practically see his fear, yet he wasn't shaking; he wasn't afraid to be around me. That made me feel happy. We've come a long way since he moved here. From back when he couldn't look me in the eyes or even speak to me. Now we hung out almost everyday and I wouldn't change it for anything. I enjoyed his company even if he didn't speak much. Which is why it pained me so much more to see him suffer in silence. 

While I don't know what makes him cut or why he's been getting more and more cuts and bruises, I know I can help if he'd just let me. I know I said I'd wait for him to ask for my help but I can't wait much longer, the bandages haven't left his arms for weeks meaning that he was most likely making new cuts daily. I'm gonna get him to open up to me and I'm gonna help him get better if it's the last thing I do. I can't really explain it but it physically hurts me to see Kenma in such pain and not be able to help him. So if he won't ask for me to hold his hand, I'll grab it and drag him to safety.