Ignore Danke

Talk Nerdy To Me (D AU)

A/N don't ask about the title. Idek anymore. Also 69th chapter...

It starts simply enough, with what Cas wrongly assumes is an uncomplicated phrase.

"I don't understand dirty talk." He says, watching one on-screen doctor whisper sweet nothings into another's ear.

Dean, sitting next to him on the worn old couch in the Winchester living room, chokes on his Pepsi. "What do you mean you don't understand it?" he wonders, disbelievingly.

Cas shrugs. "I don't get it. Why don't they just do it and stop talking about it?" He turns his head to find his friend staring at him incredulously.

"Yeah, but you haven't done anything with anybody, have you? You've never tried it"

It's true, at seventeen Cas hasn't done barely anything. He made out with Meg Masters once, he didn't like it. She was... rough. "Well no, but I don't think I'd like it. It seems...impractical"

Dean sets his Pepsi down on the coffee table and rests his elbows on his legs. He steeples his fingers in front of his face. "You don't just jump in, man. Getting there's half the fun. That's the point. Fun. Talking dirty is fun"

Cas half rolls his eyes. "Whatever." He says dismissively. He reaches for the remote to turn up the volume on the tv but Dean intercepts him, grabbing his wrist.

"Whoa, no. Wait a minute. Not "whatever", dude. C'mon!" Dean says, almost urgently.

Cas looks at him and raises an eyebrow "It's not a big deal, Dean."

"What? Yes it is! You can't- you've gotta- I can't let you go on thinking that dirty talk is lame, man. That's like... like letting a baby walk across a highway or something."

Cas makes an incredulous sputtering sound "Jesus, dramatic much?"

Dean is still holding on to his wrist and he laughs and gives it a little pull so Cas has to lean closer to him. "No..." he leans close and Cas can see all the freckles dotting Dean's face. "It's important."

Cas loves Dean's freckles. He knows all of them by heart, he's studied them enough. He counts them when Dean isn't looking, memorizes the way they splay across his cheeks and arch across his nose. He thinks Dean is beautiful, knows Dean is beautiful, always has.

The first time they met freshman year he was struck by Dean's eyes, clear and green, and it's only gotten worse. The more he learned about Dean Winchester, the more he liked him, until his little crush bloomed into something bigger, something he can't name. Won't name. Because Dean doesn't want him that way, and Cas has made his peace with that. They're just friends, and that's fine. As long as he can be in Dean's life, it's fine.

So, when Dean turns on the puppy eyes Cas sighs and relents. "Alright, fine."

He says "Dirty talk equals good" and starts to pull his arm away.

Dean still holds it tight though. "Nope."

Cas narrows his eyes. "I thought that's what you wanted."

Dean huffs. "Well yeah, but I want you to actually believe it."

"Yeah, well." Cas shrugs "I don't know what to tell you."

Dean studies his face for a moment, biting his lip. "Okay." He says finally.

"Come on." He pats his lap.

"What?"

Dean just looks at him and pats his lap again.

Cas stares. "I feel like you're trying to tell me something but I really don't know what it is."