LABYRINTHINE

Part Two [CW]

*Strong Language

Lose
by NIKI

And I know
Whatever this is ain't love
So I'm go–
I'm gonna let you go, let you go

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Lisa's POV

I woke up with a start then grumbled because of the slight pain in my head.

"Hangover, ugh." I blindly reached out to her side of the bed hoping I can feel her skin, her warmth...her. But then again, I was only met with cold and empty sheets.

Up until when will you think this day will be any different, Lisa?

"Until such time I can learn to unlove that woman." I croaked it out like a promise. I rubbed my face and slowly sat up.

But will I ever learn to do that? Do I even want to do that? I know this is wrong, but loving her feels so right...still feels right.

But still, we shouldn't be doing this. We should stop, but no one is stepping on the brakes. No matter how rough the road is, we are still riding on high-speed.

Maybe we're just waiting to crash and let it ruin us. But aren't we ruined enough? By staying in this setup that we have, kills us inside...

...slowly, gradually, painfully.

But I think it doesn't matter, because I'm dead inside.

She got all of me but my breath. But If I could give it to her and still live, I'd gladly give it away—with no hesitation. That's how I love her. And for all the pain she unintentionally gave me, I'm numb to it...most of the time.

I'm just a human, a frail one at that. Pain still finds a way to get me. For every time she comes home where I'm not, I shed another tear.

Then with every time she chooses to be with him when I need her, I experience another death. It will always be like that, him over me.

Because what right do I have to demand? I'm just the kept woman.

I will always be the one waiting on her, grateful for the time she spares me. Pathetic, I know. But that's what love does to you. You lose your sense of judgement and blindly do things because you want to.

Pathetic? Yes, I am.

And I still want her despite how messed up our situation is.

But we were not like this before. It wasn't as complicated and I remember the times when it was as simple as breathing. Where I could see the excitement in her eyes whenever she sees me, and I know my eyes say the same.

But now...her eyes lost its sparkle and she only calls when she have the time. No more excitement radiating off of her, just the need to have me every time she can.

Then again, I'm fine with that.

Until when will this labyrinthine situation comes to an end?

Only she knows...

Only she can put an end to this.

But will I survive that? Her, ending us? I'm not sure. But I know...it'll ruin me.

I stood up from the bed and trudged to the bathroom. I did my morning routine then I started to head downstairs. It's a Saturday, so it's a free day for me.