Fairy Tail Origins One Shots

Selfishly Afraid

TW: Reference to suicide but it's not outright stated, minor swearing, sad scared Lucas

Lucas wasn't sure how long he lay there, staring at the ceiling of Miss P's airship but it felt like hours. He felt sick but he knew it wasn't from any type of illness. No, he wasn't that lucky. The nausea, the headache, the constricting of his throat, the tears burning at his eyes, all of it, was from fear. It was the most paralyzing mind numbing fear he'd felt in a long time.

He was terrified.

The longer they remained trapped in the Demon Book, the higher chance Galron had  to break her seal and take over. He'd completely forgotten about it until Miss P had brought it up but now it was all he could think about.

After it happened, would she kill David and Miss P? Would they manage to stop her? How far would her path of destruction travel? ...What would happen to him? When his teacher had placed the seal he'd warned him that if it ever broke Galron would come into control and that he himself would cease to exist.

And maybe it was selfish, but that was the part that scared him the most. He felt guilt mix into his well of emotions as he thought about it. Part of him screamed at him that he should be more worried about the others after the seal broke, that it was wrong to fear for himself instead of the countless innocent lives that would inevitably be ended.

He raised his hands to his face and failed to hold back a choked sob. A part of him knew what the quote unquote right thing to do would be but he couldn't bring himself to do it. As cowardly and selfish as it was he was scared to die. He curled up onto his side and he tried to hold back the continued sobs.

He froze (the best he could while trembling the way he was) when he heard the ruffling of sheets from across the room.

"Lucas?" David questioned in a half whisper.

Lucas tensed curling in tighter on himself and feeling the tears finally start to slide down his cheeks. He didn't respond praying that David would just lay back down and go back to sleep. His prayers weren't listened to however as he heard David stand and step over to his bed.

"Hey Lucas," David reached out and grabbed his shoulder, "you alright?"

"I'm fine." Lucas managed to force out hoping the ice mage would ignore the way his voice cracked.

"Yeah, because  I totally believe that." He scoffed reaching out and forcing the other to sit up and face him.

The minute David saw the tears streaming down his face any pretense of annoyance faded, being replaced with pure concern. At the sight Lucas felt another rush of self loathing flow through him. David may act harsh but he truly does care about those close to him. Lucas on the other hand was just worrying about himself, to scared to do the one thing that would protect them from Galron.

Feeling like he was gonna throw up he clamped one hand over his mouth, the other falling to circle his legs that he had drawn up to curl up again. He felt more than saw David sit next to him.

"It's okay," David muttered wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Deep breaths Lucas, deep breathes."

Lucas flinched shaking his head and attempting to pull away, convinced he didn't deserve to be comforted by one of the very people he wasn't going to save. David wasn't about to give in that easy however as he only tightened his grip and pulled Lucas's head down so it rested against his chest by his heart.

Despite the pang of grief he felt upon realizing that he could very well be the reason that David's heart stopped beating, the steady beat along with David's hand rubbing circles onto his back was able to calm him, at least a little.