Keep it a buck

Nights

•Oakland Shakur•

"Loniliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night airs smell better." -Henry Rollins

I hate myself most day for feeling stuck in a stagnant place that I feel like I have no control over. I want to choose happiness each time, but the temptation of misery creeps in. It's like I don't deserve to be happy. Every bad thing in my life is supposed to happen because that's what I deserve. I'm not worthy of things working in my favor.

Erykah Badu plays softly in the background while I smoke a blunt and light incense. I sit in my room and try to write my feeling out-something Black told me to do whenever I get in my head. It sounded lame at first but honestly it's like a weight off of my shoulders. I didn't have to talk to some therapist to tell me how fucked up I really am. Plus, I save a lot of money.

There's a knock on the door knocking me out of my thoughts. I look over at the clock on my nightstand seeing that it is going on six in the evening. My day has been spent in isolation and self reflection. Not one call or text has been sent to my phone. I walk to the front door, and look through the peephole. Edith stands at my door with a bottle in one hand and food in the other. I open the door and step to the side.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Came to check in on you friend. It's been a minute since we linked." She walks over to the island to places everything down. Then, goes over to the sink to wash her hands.

"Sorry work has been killing me. I never knew how stupid people could actually be."

"That's the job Choice got for you, right?"

"Yeah, if she didn't use her connections I would have been quit. But I'm going going to stick it out since she did me a favor."

"How long have you been there?"

"A long ass week."

"Here girl, you need this more than me." Edith pours me a glass of wine. I grab two plates out to cabinet and pass her one. We both scoop a portion of Chinese food on our plate. I take a seat next to her before bowing my head for prayer.

"How's work going for you?"

"These damn bitches are going to drive me crazy wanting their hair done last minute."

"Speaking of which can you give me some knotless braids with beads on the end?" I place my hands together in a pleading position giving her puppy dog eyes.

"Bitch fuck you."

"When's your next availability?"

"Next Friday, I'll stop by and bring food."

"Mani and pedi on me that Saturday then." We shake on it and continue eating. I get a text from this guy I've been talking to for a week now. A smile come to my face as I read the message.

(845)469-3856

I want to take you on a date. When can we make that happen?
Sent 6:25 p.m.

My job keeps me busy.
Sent 6:27 p.m.

All I'm asking for is an hour of your time to get to experience your energy in person.
Sent 6:30 p.m.

"What's got you smiling so much?"

"Someone wants to take me out."

"Ouuu, you got a date?"

"I guess, but I don't even know if I'm interested in going."