Royal Imitation | Kylo Ren

Fix You

I felt oddly effervescent in my world of grey melancholy as I crept out of the bedroom and to the foyer after hearing a light rattle against the door, tugging on the material of my silk gloves which I had put on for my own entertainment in a fit of boredom. 

Maybe, it was because, strangely, I was expecting the handsome but dangerous man to be standing on the other-side – But although, the bewildering realisation that a part of me was slowly growing attached to Kylo Ren and his dangers, I knew the ease upon my shoulders and gait was because of the knowledge that my sentence was soon served and with Anwar's unforgiven help, I will be granted freedom. 

That day, where he had stood so bravely in the middle of my quarters and promised something that I have always longed, I knew straight away that there was no possible way I could refuse his proposition. With a heavy heart, I listened to every needle-thread of his patchwork plan and even sewed in my own input, here and there. 

The plan was simple, although still, difficult in particular areas. On the morning of the wedding at around noon when the suns are at their peak in the bright blue sky, I will creep out of my dressing room, leaving the servants and maids behind who will carry my veil waiting for my return that will never arrive. 

Then, I will meet Anwar at the East staircase that curls around the edge of the courtyards, which should be presumably empty as most of the Kingdom will already be seated and waiting amongst the set-up on the green grass which I look out to from the balcony of my quarters everyday and where the ceremony will take place. 

Anwar explained that after meeting up, he will have already gained StormTrooper gear from our fellow alliance, to make it easier to sneak into the back hills of the Kingdom, on the other-side and away from the ceremony, where all The First Order aircrafts and equipment will await in the port which the Kingdom keeps their own vehicles in regularly – The other people of Jorkhan's Resistance will already be waiting with a ship and after that, Anwar promises that we will be out of this world forever.

It sounds too good to be true, though we didn't plan around every possible mistake or road block that could come our way on that morning. We just hoped that our destiny will be as smoothly sailed as we said it would. The coin was curled in one of my hands, the Resistance symbol hidden by my silk gloves but never-less, burning a hole into my heart as if it wanted to bleed out the wasted imitation.

I shove the coin into the band of the gloves, just in case Kylo was the person on the other-side of the door, even though, he didn't usually knock for entry. 

Ever since that day with Anwar, I would unknowingly, carefully eye the two StormTroopers outside my quarters, wondering what the saviours behind the masks looked like and how I would recognise them on the morning of the wedding before I place all my trust in their armoured hands to get me out of Jorkhan – But it didn't matter. I will have Anwar with me, even though I wished it was the old him, rather than the golden man which I could no longer fully, forgive. 

But never-less, freedom was so close it was nearly tangible to touch, I could nearly taste a life without bitter lies on the tip of my tongue, I can feel a certainty without constant stress, flood through my veins of long forgotten but always welcomed, hope. 

I smile shortly as my hand reaches for the golden and engraved knob that was dead-bolted into the thick doors, but when my fingertips grazed the coldness of the sphere, my smile fell shortly and my shoulders dropped in the same way. 

For one glimpse of relief, shortly after, a defeated and gravity defining weight would crash my sense of freedom back into a million, little pieces of shattered edges, which would barely still shine in that same glory of hope – Because he was always in the back of my mind.