Royal Imitation | Kylo Ren

Damaged By Violence

The grass outside was filled now with people who all anticipated the chime of wedding bells, and the arrival of those betrothed. 

When consumptive crusade, ego and greed takes over from love and cherishing, a marriage ceremony is anything but minimal. The setting was elite and extravagant beyond necessary, and I figured all the beautiful decorations that lined the lawn, was to keep the wealthy and important guests, distracted from the grim face of the forced Princess turned Queen.

I can feel the cursing of darkness creep up inside me, and coil around the binding of my heart. Abuse is the weapon of the vulgar, and I had endured the worst of the wicked. It's a disturbed life lived suffering by the evil hands of another's, but as I have harboured beyond the alter of endurance, I find that I am both at a loss, and lost myself. 

I am serving upon my rarest of darkness and my soul only drifts off into the dangerous desires, for nobody wants to truely die, even if it did mean that their sacrifice could do more good than bad. 

When you have established that one alternative is good and the other is evil, there is no justification for the choice of a mixture – What I am doing now, cannot be forgiven, but nobody had ever apologised for the harm done to me in the first place. 

I sit in silence and watch the young girl, shudder as she stands from the bath and looks around the marble for a towel, in which was never there. 

Despite the danger of my schemes straying too far into the void of humanity, whilst an uneasy and anxious feeling idled in what was left of my morality, I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I watched her – It almost felt as if I was biting through the cut on my face, but I felt no pain as a numbing sensation settled upon my heavy bones and skipped across my skin. 

I find that I have to let in the knocking violence because when objecting to it appears to do good, the good is only temporary and only allows an evil to use that vulnerability for its own unjust benefits. 

The girl from the slums must think that I am as cruel as Ruby was to me on my first day here, as I barked at her to get in the bathtub that I had ran and gave her no answers to her endless questions... Though, there was something inside me that presumed she already had an idea of what was happening as the crowd only begins chanting, and the music begins to softly play. 

The ceremony starts in only twenty minutes, and yet here I sit, in a dress of blue while the dress of white only sits ruffled on the chair beside me. 

Her eyes blinked rapidly not only from the heated air, but how wonderfully built this bathroom was – The slum girl looked as adoring as I did, but now, this room is nothing special to me which makes my stomach sick upon the realisation.

She had never in her whole life ever seen so much gold in one place, and never had she bathed in water which wasn't icy cold, or filled with remnants of her own dirt. She was stark naked and standing frail. Her body was much thinner than my own, but I suppose if I hadn't been eating so well lately, we could almost look the same.

I could see the bulbed bones of her elbows and knees, and even her ribs were poking through her chest as if they grew deformed. My body stiffened at the sight and a sudden wave of guilt flooded onto my chest, and watered down my brain. I knew that what I was going to force her to do, would not give me back any mercy, but I truely feel as if it will give Jorkhan a better chance of survival. I don't see us winning the war, but at least I am doing my part in fighting against it in my own spiritless way. 

I motioned for her to follow me into the bedroom, as I stood from my place and collected the wedding dress in which I had sat beside me, but never uncurled my fingers from the satin and silk.