Gone || IwaOi COMPLETE

Poor Decisions

OIKAWA'S POV

I can't do this anymore. I walked over to the front door, slipped on my sneakers and made my way outside. It was a bit chilly, at least I had my sweats on. I looked down at the 3 day old lines across my wrist and forearms. I lost my last blade the other night. I might as well pick up a bottle of aspirin to make it flow faster. I let my head drift as I walked to the store down the street. I walked through the doors and grabbed what I came for. I looked down at the items in my hands, it was finally going to happen. I made my way to the end of the isle before bumping into someone with a familiar scent. I fell to the ground, dropping the items in my hands.

"Ah sorry!" I heard a familiar voice ring out, "Let me help you!"

"Wait..." I said, slowly looking up to see and old friend crouched before me, "I-Iwa-Chan?"

"Huh?!" He exclaimed, looking up at him with my soon to be purchases in his hands, "Shittykawa?! Wait why are you buying these things?!"

He looked worried, like he still cared about me. But he probably didn't, no one cares about me

"I um.." I bit my lip while I tried to look for an excuse, "My head hurts and I uh...I needed to cut something."

Iwaizumi's eyes drooped a little bit and a small frown found its way to his pretty lips, "What did you need to cut?"

"I uh.." I didn't know what. Was I suppose to tell him I was going to talk the entire bottle so I would over dose AND bleed out faster when I cut myself?! "Something...."

"Oikawa..." He said, grabbing my hand and pulling me onto my feet. He wrapped his arms around my waist in a tight embrace, "I know we haven't seen each other since High School and we are both out of collage now but....Are you okay?"

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and tried not to cry, "N-no..."

"What happened to all of the hippieness you had in high school?!" He questioned

"You promised you would never leave....and then you where gone," I paused, trying not to cry in the middle of the store, "and along with you went the last ounce of happiness I had."

"Oikawa I'm so so sorry!" He said squeezing me tighter, "Let me take you home okay?" 

"Alright.."

"And you're not getting these!" he exclaimed, setting my items down on the shelf, "There's a few things I need to get."

"Okay." I looked up into his eyes before he smiled and turned around. He was as charming as ever.

"Oh do you know of any cheap hotels in the area?" He questioned, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Not really," I lied, "But you can stay at my apartment if you would like."

"Are you sure?" he raised an eyebrow, "I don't wanna impose"

"Yeah." I tilted my head a little, stuffing my hands in my hoodie pockets, "I also think ya know.....I shouldn't be alone...."

"Say it louder Shittkawa," Iwaizumi playfully demanded, "And say what you really mean."

I huffed a bit before opening my mouth again, "I need you Iwa-chan..."

"There we go." He congratulated, giving me a gentle pat on the back like he would in high school, "I remember when you would say that in high school."

I smile found it's way to my lips for a quick second. It had been months since that happened last. I was a little worried I would loose track of the familiar boy if I strayed too far away, therefore I stayed very close to him while we where in the store. He pick up things I had watched him eat in our younger days like Curry and and other Indian foods. Eventually we made it to the bakery section.

"You still like milk bread?" My old friend asked

"Mmhmm." I simply replied, feeling a bit drained by todays thoughts. I just want it all to be over already. Living is so painful and annoying. And besides Ide be better off laying in a ditch then being a bother to Iwaizumi.

"I'll get some then" he announced, picking up a package of the food I've eaten far too much of in my sad life time. 

"You don't have to..." 

Iwa-Chan stopped dead in his tracks, turning to look me in the eyes, "I know I don't have to but I want to." He gently rubbed my arms, "I still care about you Oikawa. Please don't think you're alone." 

Although it had been several years since I had seen Iwaizumi last, his pleads still comfort me some what. But only some what. He didn't really know the version I am today, therefore I still felt alone. I smiled softly  and gave my childhood bestfriend a slight bow, to which he replied by ruffing my hair. I stood up straight again and began to rub my right thumb with my left forefinger. It was an odd nervous habit I had picked up in my second year of collage. 

"You still play setter?" The brunet asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence between us.

"I um..." I paused, taking a deep gulp, " I don't play anymore. My knee got worse and so did my mental health so I just kind of....gave up." 

Iwa-Chan frowned again. I really did make him unhappy, Didn't I?

"I want to help with that. I studied to be an athletic trainer so I know easy ways to help with your knee," he reassured me, "It was one of the first things I studied, but as for your mental health," he continued, "I will always be here to be your friend. I hope that helps in some way."

"Thank you, Iwa-Chan."

"Of course, Shittykawa." The brunet cooed, replacing his frown with a pretty smile. 

Wait why did I just think he looked pretty?! He's a guy! I'm suppose to think girls are pretty! Not my friends!

"Okay lets pay and head out!" I followed Iwaizumi to the check out line, then out to the car, helping him put the nights bounty in the back seat before driving home. 

If I hadn't bumped into Iwaizumi, I would be in a happier place.

But something tells me I'm about to go on one wild roller coaster ride. 

Authors Note

Hello! I know this is the first chapter but I made it a little  short on purpose. Chapters that deal with the most sensitive subject sections like actual attempts or fresh scars will be shorter. I know it can be hard to take in a lot of information on subjects such as Suicide or Depression. But please please ask for help if you're struggling. It doesn't make you weak. If fact it makes you ten times stronger. Just know I love you all so much! Thank you for giving me a platform to be able to shed light on subjects that are hard to swallow. I was depressed for a very long time and my child hood friend committed less then six months ago. It hurt a lot and effected many people that where around her and in her life. Please think before you make a bad decision. You are are beautiful souls with so much to live fore. Feel free to talk to me anytime! Love you all lots! Luca out!