Enigma: Memeulous X Kris deltarune X master chief X jesus

Bad Morning

--Kris perspective--

If you don't know me I'm m to tha b, coming on hard you bett-

I gently turned off the alarm

I got out of bed and drank a 500ml bottle of ice cold water, and I open my wardrobe

I put on my grey jeans, my avengers t shirt, and fuck it, just for old times sake, shoved on the green and yellow sweater I had worn every day of high school, except every April fools where I wore blue and purple instead

I chuckled to myself thinking of old times, how easy it was how calm it was

I head for the bathroom when all of a sudden, I trip on my shrek boxset

There was a gaping hole in my forehead practically waterfalling blood out

I held my finger over it and navigated to the bathroom sink cupboard, where I put a plaster over the injury

No problem

I sat down on the toilet, just because it was the nearest seat and thought

Really?

I'm really seeing these people?

9 years on?

Is Susan still a cunt?

Is George still as pretty?

Pretty?

That's not the word I'd use,

Beautiful?

No, both of those had too much an elegance to them

It's a more down to earth, kind of "you look great but not really like a model more of a kind of you look like the sort of person with the traits I admire" sort of a look

Cute.

That's what I meant.

Cute...

...

...

SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT KRISTOFER

GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME

Goodness, that was a little aggressive

Worked though

Hmm

Maybe I should start being more aggressive to myself

No

That's more stress than it's worth

I walked down and made two slices of toast and a cup of tea

As I was pouring the tea, the toast popped up, shocking me and spilling burning hot liquid down me

I fell to the ground in recoil, with the kettle in my hand spilling more across my face and neck

I verbally scream in terror

Fuck

That hurt a bit

First the cut now this

Bad morning

I'm not going to leave a good first impression on how far I've come

You know, I don't care

I always was the "show up with a plaster and burn mark and think nothing of it" kid

And I guess that's still who I am

I ate, drank and walked out of the house and round to the boulevard with the bus stop

I saw an ad for some online store on it with a weird URL, memeulous.shop...

I've never seen a .shop domain, and the name memeulous sounds familiar

Who do I know who's associated with memes

I mean George did make that hilarious Harry Potter parody, but I think he went by memetastic

That must be what I'm remembering

I don't know this memeulous guy

I caught the bus which was playing Beatles music

I wouldn't make note of this, but this crafty mother fucker driving was playing a version that looped around at the second hey Jude to the first one at the start of the song

It kept going, and drove me mad

When I got out, I explained the event to the concerned driver who saw a grown adult he doesn't recognise bing dropped off at a school

I simply walked in

Where this newfound confidence came from I have no clue

It sure wouldn't stay