Enigma: Memeulous X Kris deltarune X master chief X jesus

Unlimited Power

--kris perspective--

Two days ago, I was preparing for a high school reunion, one day ago I was coping with a loss. Today I have the spirit of of Jesus in Ewan McGregor's body with my friends disfigured corpse hooked up to a pylon.

What the fuck is my life.

"Chuck me another cable!"

"Alright"

I chucked a black cable with two crocodile clips on it over to jesus. He had attached it, and another, to each of George's ears.

"It's a bit fucked up don't you think?"

"What?"

"I don't know, what here could possibly be fucked up? The wood? The wire? The toolbox? The disfigured corpse with crocodile clips on it's ears suspended a kilometer in the air by two flimsy cables?"

"Point noted"

I looked around. The grassy field was miles down from the wire contraption that held me here. There was no one around for miles and there was a single, empty, straight road which stretches off for who knows how long.

The car, a 2008 silver nissan primera was sitting there, still running, because in his own words, jesus "couldn't give two straight fucks about the ozone".

"Chuck me a vial"

"The one filled with watered down cocaine?"

"Yeah!"

John wasn't looking at me, jesus was getting steadily more pissed, why does everyone not like me all of a sudden?

They didn't hate me.

Why now?

They had nothing to dislike.

When I come out of my shell at last, they all think I'm a loud mouthed irritating bastard.

They just don't get me like George does, and I can't blame them.

I don't think anyone does.

I don't think anyone will.

I looked round and saw the woods, and had a tinge of nostalgia.

I remembered me and my brother playing in there when we were young.

I was a knight, he was a wizard, and I had blue skin for some reason.

Well the real reason is that I saw a man with green skin in star wars once and thought it would be cool to have blue skin.

I still have the stick.

My sword, I mean.

I wonder if azzy still has his "staff".

He understood me.

I just wanted to hit shit with sticks and pretend they were all kinds of bugs.

I don't feel myself anymore.

I'm a short tempered self centered cunt who people only like because he shuts the fuck up 95% of the time.

I used to just be pleased by hitting something with a stick.

Now I need 2 screens on, 3 sources of audio, and 4 wanks a day.

Azzy would hate me.

George cares though.

He sees my good, he encourages it, and he points out and helps me with my bad.

I just hope this works.

A car passed, the first one we've seen this whole time.

And another.

And another.

They were all identical, and kept coming, and each was faster than the last, until it was just a blur.

Visible electricity came from them, and overcharged the phone lines.

His body began to twitch, as if it was waking up. His head and body took shape, but his face was still distorted, horrific, and purple and burned.

His eyes opened, and so did his mouth.

"Ow, my fucking earlobes."