IT'S U, ALWAYS U

CHAPTER SIX:- PASSERBY

"I was just passing by."

"Oh." Disappointment bloomed in my chest at his curt reply. What did you expect, I mentally chided myself.

He cleared his throat. "Why are you still here, amara spinelli ?"

"I forgot my umbrella." I managed a weak smile. "You should get going, aidan. You might catch a cold. The rain might stop soon anyway."

Something flashed in his eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it came. He held out his hand, while I stared at it in confusion.

"What are you doing?"

"I have an umbrella," he replied. "There's enough room for two."

I looked at him, bemused. "Your home is not in the same way as mine."
"I could use the exercise. Besides, the rain doesn't look like it will stop anytime soon," he shrugged nonchalantly. "Unless you wish to sleep here, that is?"

Fear unexpectedly laced through me at the thought of being left alone in school at night. Memories of being locked in a classroom resurfaced, and without thinking, I immediately grabbed the hand he offered. "N-no, I'll go with you."

He must've sensed that something was wrong, must've heard the slight tremble in my voice-because his eyes softened when my eyes met his.
He looked like he wanted to ask me about it, but I ducked my head and gripped his hand tightly.
I didn't want to relieve bad memories. Aidan seemed to understand then, as he always had.

"Let's go, amara."

Placing a hand on my shoulder, he then led us out into the rainy sidewalk and into the night.

-*-

"Are you okay now?"

We were sitting side by side at the bus station, having arrived a few minutes after the last bus came.
We'd have to wait another half hour for the next one, not that I really minded.

"yes, I am fine now,"
I mumbled. "I just overreacted a while ago."

"You shouldn't downplay your emotions, amara.
Sorry, I shouldn't have said something so crass."

"It wasn't your fault. You didn't know."

He glanced sideways at me. "no, it's not an excuse."

"You don't have to beat yourself up for something you did not know, aidan."

He remained quiet, brooding.

"I actually want to thank you, you know."

"For what?"

For being with me right now. For not leaving me behind, even though you probably wanted to. For everything, I wanted to say.
But he probably wouldn't appreciate me saying that.

So instead, I settled for a lame excuse.
"For sharing your umbrella with me. And walking me home."

"It's nothing, amara. I told you, I was just passing by.

" I wondered then if he was telling masking the truth with a well-phrased lie like he used to.
A surge of confidence washed over me as I contemplated on what-ifs, urging me to say things I really shouldn't.

"aidan."

"Hm?"

"The thing is, I really want to be alone today."

It was all too much. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, not when my eyes were already brimming with tears that threatened to fall any time. I wanted him far away from me before he realizes my pathetic state.

My knuckles turned white as I gripped the edge of the bench and hung on for dear life. It was clear to me there and then-I had lost him already. Bear with it, amara. You made him this way.

I saw it again, the same fleeting emotion that flashed earlier in his eyes. Was it sadness? Hurt? Longing? It was gone too quickly before it could be deciphered. And just like before, the blank mask had slid back into place almost immediately.

"really? Should I leave then?"

Forcing myself to sound cheerful, I replied.
"yes. Thank you for accompanying me here. But you should leave now, aidan.

"I really should, right?"

It was all too much. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, not when my eyes were already brimming with tears that threatened to fall any time. I wanted him far away from me before he realizes my pathetic state.

"yea. I really want to be alone right now. Sorry."

He heaved a sigh, before he got to his feet. "Do you really want me to leave, amara?"

No. "yes."

"Then why," I gasped in surprise when his fingers grasped my chin. "Does it seem like you want me to stay?"