Fish in a Bowl | girlxgirl

Kisses don't heal

Another Saturday was spent with the dying girl but instead of our usual café meetups, we had lunch at a diner before strolling at the park and settling on the edge of a fountain. There were fishes that swam in circles in the fountain and I felt heaviness in my chest, thinking about how pitiful it must be to be stuck in such a constricted space when there's a vast ocean full of wonders waiting for them, but which they will never know.

Sighing, I shifted my attention to the girl beside me, who was sipping a strawberry yogurt drink. The paleness of Sophie's skin was competing with that of a corpse, making the light pink tint on her lips stand out. "You don't look okay."

"Well, I'm not receiving any hugs nor kisses, of course I'm not okay Sabine!" She scoffed, rolling her eyes at me.

"Oh." I did cross a line pointing out her unsatisfactory appearance but I was not aware that the lack of physical contact can make a skin paler.

"Don't 'oh' me. Come here and give me a kiss." Sophie closed her eyes, puckering her lips and making kissing noises that I wish not to hear ever again.

Scooting away a bit, I made sure that I did not nudge anything into the fountain. "I don't think I want to do that."

Another scoff came out of her lips as she crossed her arms. Her wavy blonde hair fluttered when a gush of wind passed by. "I give you free hugs every time!"

Ever since I asked for a hug that time, Sophie had been giving me one without me asking. It was convenient and I liked it, surely I have been taking advantage of it. "I wasn't aware there was a price."

"There's no free lunch, Sabine."

"You paid for the lunch yesterday. It's not free for you but it is for me."

"I didn't mean--" Sophie shook her head. "Never mind."

A honk close enough to startle me and fall on the ground caught not just our attention, but the people nearby as well. Two geese waddled to our general direction, honking obnoxiously. Standing up from the ground with Sophie assisting me, a scrape from the small rough rocks stung my knee and bled red.

Sophie led us to the bench, quite far from the fountain where the geese now waddled around.

When she arrived and sat first because of my slight limping, her eyes locked on my knees, a small gasp coming out of her. "Oh no. Come here, let me kiss it better."

"That's not how it works."

"It works."

"It wouldn't."

"How do you know if you wouldn't let me try?"

"No." Opening the side pouch of my bag once I sat on the bench, I took out the small packet of wipes and picked one out. After making sure that the wound is clean of tiny rocks, I threw the wipes in the nearby trash bin, then walked back to where Sophie sat pouting.

While we waited for the sunset on the bench, Sophie listened intently as I talked about proper shelving in a bookstore. I like how I can talk to her about something she's not familiar with or not interested in (I hope not and I don't think so by how she listened) because most people will block me out before I can even get to explain why the kids section is placed far from the entrance.

While I told Sophie about how the bible was the most stolen book in our bookstore, a strange look replaced her focused one. I couldn't quite place it but it was as if she is focused but at the same time...dazed? Perhaps focused on another thing other than what I was saying? Bored? "What does that look mean?"

Sophie looked startled, like how a kid is when caught eating sweets past bedtime. "What look?"

"The one you were giving me just a few seconds ago."

"I don't know. I can't see my face." Sophie blinked her wide eyes.

"Well, that's true." I shrugged, letting it go. Otherwise, I'll end up trying to figure it out for hours if I dwell on it.

We fell into silence, both watching as shades of orange finally began overlapping with the blueness of the sky as the sun started to set. People gathered to admire the colors of the sky just as I did and for once, I found solace at the small and simple similarity I had with all these people.