╭Lamented╮

Chapter 5

Toshiro

I heard mumbling behind the slide door of my office. The two whispering - attempting to be secretive - were not doing a good job. I would have expected more from high ranking Soul Reapers. I sighed, deciding to ignore there less than graceful attempts to stay discrete. "Captain Hitsuguya has been acting weird ever since he came back from his break, don't you think?"

I have not. What does she mean by that?

"What do you mean, Rangiku?" I heard my sister ask the exact same question. Significantly, I was interested in her answer. Was I acting odd? How so? I do feel a bit different, but I would not go as far as to say I was acting differently. Without thinking much on it, I put it on the long list of things I would discuss with her. I put my chin on my left hand, while I read the last of the paper work.

I sighed.

"Well, for starters, he sighs a lot more often."

I stopped reading one of the last phrases in the paper. My body froze, unable to move. Unable to figure out how I should react to this. No. I shook my head briefly. It was merely a coincidence. I convinced myself that was all it was and read the last of the work rather fast. I am ashamed to say, the conversation they were having outside intrigued me. Thus, I tried distracting myself with other... things. I blame Karin for my less than intelligent choice of words. I have been 'picking up' too much of her way of speaking.

"He has? Well," I heard Momo say, "I have noticed his been out of it. Like he would always daydream in between our conversations. Also, his speech is a bit different too - less stiff and formal. Sometimes he can't even get the right words anymore. I find it funny."

She laughed, which made me scowl. Rebuking, however, in a conversation I was not in would be rude. Either way, I was caught up in what she said previously. I masked the shock I felt. Were they reading my mind? I shook my head. No, I merely got a few new habits that they have noticed.

It made sense, but it would take time to get used to. I looked around, spotting the calendar we hung on the wall. More accurately, Rangiku done so as it was from the Woman's Association. A calendar with pictures of the young ladies and I am grateful it was nothing inappropriate. I glanced at the current date.

It has been more than four months since my last break. The time was going slow; when did I become so impatient? I wanted the time to go faster or there to be a time where I would be able go to the world of the living. Truly, it was unlike me to have this feeling. It brought a feeling of sadness to me, yet gave me something to look forward to. I could not understand.

I restrained myself from sighing, trying to prove a point in no one's eyes. Walking towards the calendar, I drew a line over the current date.

"There's more," Rangiku said. I could only listen with a sudden dullness in my mood. "He looks at the calendar, and would stare at it for hours. His work is always finished early, as if he wants it done quickly. Then, he would wait."

"He looked like he was waiting for something. Anything."

"I don't know what it is, but time suddenly became something he pays attention to. What is it? I wonder."

It was all true. I accepted that much. I waited for something, anything. A break. A simple patrol in the living world. Daring to say, I wanted so selfishly to have a reason to be there. It... feels horrible.

To have left her there. Where there is no one for her, unlike me who had my sister, Rangiku and the others respectively. It made me rethink my decisions. She would have been happier and in peace if I had let her pass on. Instead, I was selfish to have kept her there.

I had to make things right. I will do my job for her happiness.

Then, I got what I wished for. A job in the world of the living, but I was too occupied with the mission to visit. I met with Ichigo Kurosaki for the disturbance as he had been involved in it, as usual. Everything, with no progress, was moving too fast and I had no time to visit her.

It was frustrating, I had to admit. Especially with the team I was assigned with. In addition, even if I could go out, Rangiku was working on my last nerve. She would never let it slide if she knew I wanted to go see a girl.

I stood on the rooftop with a frown. The air was refreshing. It did nothing to soothe me with the thoughts and events that happened in mind — it could not.

I felt a threatening reistu radiating off an individual, forcefully taking me out of my train of thoughts.

Before I could process or track down the source, I was hit. The sudden attack caused me to crash down further than expected.

This opponent will be difficult to beat without my full strength.