𝑺𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑺 𝑳𝑰𝑳 𝑷𝑬𝑬𝑷

★︎ 𝑇𝑊𝐸𝑁𝑇𝑌 - 𝐹𝑂𝑈𝑅 ★︎

☹︎𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙐𝙎 ☹︎

for a while things were going good. fighting the urges to do the drugs again have been hard but easier with gus beside me. ian and i bonded more and hes actually not as different as i thought he was.

brian has been taking the time to work and spend time with us with gus included. he thinks of gus as his own son and gus feels accepted for that.

i still havent read the note mainly because i was too scared to fall again. i contemplated whether i should burn it but it was the only thing of my sisters. the asylum sent me some of athena's things. there was a bunch of family drawings.

some notes she written to me but never got to send. my heart still felt heavy and there was no possible way i could get over this. it was currently the weekend so i laid in my bed. maybe i should get a job, but couldnt because i wasnt clean enough yet.

i sighed and got up. dad's got me eating now which i never really felt starved. i guess the drugs made me skinnier. i went downstairs to grab something to eat. i didnt really feel good but i still had to eat anyway.

i didnt bother gus because he finally is making those new songs he was talking about. which i was really proud of him for, but he still checks on me when he can. i sat at the kitchen table by myself while i ate silently to myself.

"youre up early." dad said walking into the kitchen.

"i couldnt really sleep anyway." i said honestly, he nodded he looked like he was getting ready for work.

"i see. ima leave you some money just in case you guys get hungry, if anythings wrong just call me okay?" i nodded. "i know you struggle with drugs, ve, but im gonna trust you, okay?"

"i know, dad, dont worry. i havent touched anything." that sadly was the truth, ever since gus made me promise ive struggled so fucking hard but im doing it for my family.

"im proud of you." he said coming over to kiss my head, nobody has really ever said that to me. he grabbed his keys and left leaving me alone with my brother. after eating i cleaned up and went to ian's room.

i knocked and when i heard nothing i opened the door to see him balled up into his bed crying. i sat beside him and he flinched.

"hey, whats wrong?" i asked placing my hand on his shoulder slowly.

"had a nightmare." he sighed and jumped into a hug, i tried my best to comfort him.

"your mother prolly gave you ptsd or something man, im sorry." he nodded.

"she really did. i never did anything to her and she treated me like shit." i nodded.

"yeah, i getchu bro. my father treated athena and i like shit. and she was just a kid at the time." i never really talked about my childhood to people.

"im sorry, if you wanna cry about it ill be here to comfort you." i shook my head.

"ill be okay." he wiped his eyes and sighed.

"at least we have dad, right?" i nodded.

"probably the only father i have." i said truthfully, without brian my life woulda prolly been worse.

"im happy though. i never had siblings and my cousins would be complete dicks." i nodded.

"mara right? i remember her thats why she got beat up." ian laughed.

"oh yeah, i almost forgot about that." we laughed together. i remember what happened, she was making fun of me for being adopted and she tried to swing at me but i caught her slacking and beat her ass. she doesnt come around anymore.

"well at least she wont talk shit about us anymore." he nodded.

"yeah thats true." i let ian talk his feelings out and when he felt better i went to my room and cleaned up the mess. everything felt destroyed so i put on some music and did my best to make it look better.

there was a paper that slipped outta athena's notebook while i picked it up.

earlier auntie renee came to visit me. its been a long time since i saw her after being locked into here. she came to talk about what happened the day my parents were killed. but i had to promise not to tell anybody even the therapists that asked me about it.

what the fuck? our aunt renee hasnt visited us since my mom got mad at her about something. they fought really badly one day and we havent seen her since.

i rummaged through more of athena's notes hoping to find something else. i sat and looked through everything but one drawing stood out. it was a very detailed picture of the crime scene and somebody was standing in the distance.

did she draw this? i looked closer there were more pictures similar to this. but the face was kinda distorted. i read through more of the notes.

i saw aunt renee talking to the doctors. they said something about shock therapy. i dont know what that is but im scared. the doctors told me it wouldnt hurt and that id be fine.

nobody authorized shock therapy for her. if they did it was illegal.

my head felt terrible after it. i dont know why they did that but my head has been hurting for days.

my eyes started to water. what were they doing to my baby sister. i found a letter much more recent.

im starting to put the pieces together. why im really here. and what theyre hiding. the doctors dont know i know but im not suppose to be here.

so renee visited her more than once? she authorized the therapy? was she the one athena drew? i couldnt tell. i called gus to come over while i put this together. i finally picked up the guts to read her note.

i opened her letter slowly with a deep breath. my hands were trembling heavily. it was a bit long but i prepared myself to read it all. i sat there for what felt like forever, stuck in a trance while my eyes scanned over every word.

my heart was pounding as tears flooded my eyes. i let the paper float out of my hand while i started to sob into my hands. i heard footsteps enter my room while gus walked in staring.

"baby? whats wrong?" he asked, my throat felt hot and i couldnt speak. i knew i was right.

"it wasnt a fucking suicide. athena was set up and they killed her. they killed my fucking sixteen year old sister."

i felt so sick. i wanted to puke. i jumped into his arms sobbing into his chest. i wanted to throw a fit. i wanted to scream until my lungs shattered. she was innocent. i knew she was.

"dont worry, baby, we got this. ima be right here for you."

ill kill them.