Chapter 11: Stay Alive

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John's POV

We looked for (Y/n) everywhere, but it was like she had disappeared into thin air. It was getting late and we had classes tomorrow, so eventually I was the only one left looking for her. Well, Lee was too, but even if he found her I doubted she'd want to talk to him. At 11:00 pm, Alex called and begged me to come home, but I wasn't going to leave (Y/n) out here.

When I heard my phone ringing again some time after that, I dug it out of my pocket hopefully, but it was just Herc. Annoyed, I picked up. "Listen, I'm not goin—" I started, but I cut myself off. Was Herc....crying? He spoke to me in between sobs, and I could feel my heart shatter inside my chest.

No....

I didn't even bother ending the call before taking off running.

~

"Is (Y/n) (L/n) here??" I practically yelled at the lady at the front desk of the hospital, gasping for breath.

"Sir, they brought her in half an hour ago — she got into an accident. She lost a lot of blood on the way over. We're doing everything we can," the woman replied. She called over some nurses who tried to get me to sit, but I held my ground. I knew they were just trying to do their jobs, but I had to know if (Y/n) was okay.

"Can I see her, please?" I asked frantically. I couldn't just sit here idly. (Y/n) had needed me more than ever earlier today, and I wasn't there for her. I wasn't going to make that mistake twice.

"She's in surgery right now, sir." She paused for a moment before continuing. "Are you family?" she questioned hesitantly.

"Yes," I lied, without thinking. I should've felt guilty about it, but I'd be damned if I let not being blood-related keep me from seeing her. The woman at the front desk looked skeptical, but she nodded and assured me a doctor would give me more information when they had it.

The nurses had to practically force me into a seat in the waiting room. I sat in silence, staring at the floor. I probably should've called the others, but I was in too much shock. All I could do was sit there. I heard footsteps running into the room and some people talking to the woman at the front desk, but I couldn't pay much attention to it. Everything around me felt muted.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw people sit in the chairs on either side of me. Someone put a hand on my shoulder, but I didn't look up.

"John," I heard a voice say, but it sounded so far away. What was pulling my attention was the voice in my head that was screaming, (Y/n) can't be dead! She can't, she can't, she can't, she can't, she can't....

"John!" I finally turned to my right, to the owner of the hand that was squeezing my arm tightly. I could barely see through the tears in my eyes, but I knew who it was.

"What, Alex?!" I said, louder than I should have. "What do you want from me?? She's in surgery, and she's sustaining who knows how many injuries! And it's all my fault," I whispered the last part, ashamed of myself because it was the truth. If I had looked for her harder, if I had found her, she'd be fine. She'd be standing here right now, and that would be enough.

"It's not your fault, John. She....she was drunk," Herc tried to reason with me. Drunk? No, (Y/n) never drank. She wouldn't, no matter how bad things got.

I looked at the other guys, who didn't seem at all surprised to hear that she was drunk. They were keeping something from me, and it made my blood boil. "What do you mean she was drunk?" I asked through gritted teeth.

Laf looked at me with a pitifully, as if I wouldn't be able to handle the truth. "When she left, after the thing," he carefully danced around the subject of the fight, "she went to a bar. That's where she was when we were looking for her." He really shouldn't have added that last sentence.

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