Smiling is a Coverup(Depressed Blueberry sans)

Chapter 14 - Not enough

I stepped into the portal and was in the living room. The portal closes, "Blue!", and I get tackled to the ground. "Ah!" I screamed out, surprised at the sudden....hug? Felt like I was being attacked. It was only Dream and Ink. "We missed you!" Dream says letting me go. "AND we searched for you!" Ink says, also letting go. "S-sorry, didnt mean to worry you guys, mwheheheh!" I said with an awkward laugh. "It's okay! We are just glad your safe!" Dream says getting up and helping me and Ink up. Can't protect yourself. "Did anything happen when I was gone?" I said ignoring my own dark thoughts. They are better without you. "Yeah, not much! Just had to stop the Bad Sanses a few times." Ink said. "Well Cross and Dust are the only ones that decided not to fight, they just sat and watched us." Dream said. If you were gone, nothing would've changed. "Oh.....that's good!" I said while smiling. Trying to ignore my thoughts but it was difficult not to listen. "We should get going! Everyone in the underground was worried about you." Ink said. Lies. "Carrot is at Muffet's by the way." Dream says while going into a portal Ink made.

They both waved at me until the portal closed. Once it closed my smile dropped. I feel sick even though I know I'm fine. I go up to the bathroom that was upstairs at the end of the hall. ( just pretend, I just realized that the house, originally doesn't have a bathroom.) I entered the bathroom and locked the door shut. "Maybe just a few..." I whispered to myself. I walked up to the sink. "Just a few....? Right...?" I whispered to myself. It would be better to be gone, not exist. I summoned a sharp bone, I stood up and put my arm over the sink. Just few little cuts. Nothing big. I see the faded cuts I made a while back. They are almost completely gone. Guess I'm making new ones. Didn't know why I'm doing it, just felt like I wan- NEEDED to do it. I make quick and small cuts. 3. It wasn't enough to bleed but for some reason. It's not enough. I did few more small cuts, not going over the ones I already made. 5. Not enough. I cut a couple more, pressing a little harder this time against my arm. 6. Not enough. I was slightly heavy breathing. I cut couple more, more harder than last. 8. Not enough. I made more cuts, pressing hard. 3. Not enough...

I start to cut my other arm, blood dripping down into the sink, going down into the drain...slowly. 3, 5, 4, 6, 7, 4. I counted all the cuts I made between little breaks to admire my huge mistake. The bone disappears then I turned on the sink and rinse off the blood. Just die already. I was on the verge of tears. They are better without such a pathetic creature. I felt stinging in both arms. No one understands y- "Your strong Blue. Very strong." My thoughts got interrupted, remembering what Red said. "Sorry Red, it's so hard." I said speaking to myself. Tears run down my face. "Why am I suffering? Is it something I did wrong?" I said. "Why won't the clouds go away?" Crying more, my arms keep shaking. I stood up and teleported to my bedroom. I quickly changed into comfy clothes, blue jacket, black shorts, and kept the boots on. I wiped away my tears. Go away clouds, I thought to myself. I teleported outside the house and head straight to Muffet's.

(Hoped you enjoyed, school started. Oh god no. But that won't stop me from updating!)