In the back parking area of a particularly fabulous bar, a rather strange lightning storm focused on the ground. A green square of energy appeared, and then vanished, leaving just a smoldering crater in a perfect square, and a skinny man frantically flailing about, naked, burning his feet on the hot blacktop.
"The flesh, it burns." Lawg squealed, flopping down on the cooler ground as he checked his feet for damage. "Where the hell are my clothes?" he asked, looking up at the sign that read "The Back Door". He sighed with relief.
"Well at least they marked the rear entrance well." he said, missing the pun entirely.
The bass thumping of the nightclub became louder as the Back Door's back door creaked slightly open, and Lawg poked his face through, darting inside still buck-ass nekkid as a newborn. He hid behind the rack of clothing, which he thought was oddly convenient.
"Not gonna even question it." he whispered, rummaging through the late 80's clothing selection and finding nothing but weird outfits and costume attire. "Man, I was way off. This looks nothing like the 80's style I imagined. This is the dumbest and most flamboyant clothing possible." he sighed, getting dressed and feeling silly in the neon colors and tight pants, that fit pretty well, as he silently considered keeping them.
"Boy, what the hell are you doing back here?" asked a young man with a confused look. "Is that what you're wearing?"
"Cap...William Smith. I'm here for the weaponry."
"Honey, everyone at the Back Door is here to look at the weaponry. You gotta wait backstage for your turn, just like everyone else. In that outfit, you better be packing if you wanna get any tip money." he chuckled.
"Unfortunately I'm not packing...not remotely. That's why I'm here. Who has the biggest and meanest firepower for sale?" he asked, still not realizing it was a gay strip-club.
"Tyson's definitely got the most bang for the buck, but good luck landing that deal. You and everyone else." the worker scoffed.
"I have money, so I'm not worried. I need to get some pretty quick, and bigger is better. I got one mean son-of-a-bitch heading my way and I need to be ready. Does Tyson have a store or does he just work out of his van?"
"Store? You clearly aren't from around here. If you want it quick and cheap, I suggest trying the men's room. Store...pssh. Like you can just shop for that kinda action. Crazy-ass." he chuckled.
Lawg sat on the crapper, impatiently waiting and confused, as he counted his wad of money. He checked the newspaper.
"Wow, first mission to Mars just landed. Boy we were primitive way back now." he chuckled. He knocked on the stall door.
"Is anyone else in here looking to make some cash, or am I just wasting time?" he yelled.
"What you lookin for?" asked a gruff voice.
"Something big enough to take down a titan."
"Aren't we all." it replied.
"I hope not, I have limited spending, and high demand always jacks prices up.
"Well, you can go cheap, but you won't get the best for cheap. Quality costs money."
"I don't need anything long-term or reliable, just quick and mean, lotta power and functional. I'm thinking hand-held for now, maybe something I can mount later on."
YOU ARE READING
Dipshits in Space: Season 6
Science Fiction...you even reading these things still? I mean at this point if you liked the other 5, you're gonna like this one, and if you didn't like the first 5, then why are you here? This is just silly. I don't have to tell you this season has the greatest r...
