Duffy stood at the fridge, drinking some milk from the jug, as the partition door flew open, allowing a very dippy Lawg to slide in. He smiled with a grin similar to the one he uses when he has a quality fart joke.
"Hey Duffy, I got 2 ticket's to BoneTown." he eyebrowed.
"Way to really be romantic Lawg. We've been a thing for two days and you already gave up trying to sugar coat it."
"Wait, what? No, I won two tickets to BoneTown."
"Heard you the first time you horny bastard."
"I'mma try this gain, but with visuals." He smirked.
"Please don't, oh you actually have physical papers for a contest win...to BoneTown. I hate how that's a real thing. I regret before I even ask, but pray-tell, what is BoneTown? She asked.
"No idea but it's free, and I won tickets for it by accident. I'm not explaining what I thought I was clicking, but here we are, and I have tickets. One in a million chances and this lucky mofo has a double-barrel ride to what, I assume, is the sexiest couples thing ever, or singles thing, again, I don't read these things before conclusions."
"Says here it's a resort for newlywed couples, with free medical and health insurance just for staying the weekend. Lawg this is what we needed." she smiled.
"Hell yea, Bone town." he said with a thrust.
"No, healthcare. Lawg we live in a floating icecream truck. None of us have insurance of any kind, and Menace has been sick for a week. She can't even tell us what's wrong because she doesn't speak 4 words of coherent English or Spanish."
"Bueno." he nodded. "Not following. We still going to BoneTown?"
"Lawg, it's for newlyweds, and only the couple gets free medical. You gotta Marry Menace." She said.
"You're funny, Duff. So here's what I'm thinking. As captain and accident prone as I am, I get the first medical. Menace get's the other, you and me go to Bone town and the rest is obvious. Two of us...go to Bone-Town. That last one alone was an inuedum."
"Lawg that's not how it works. Menace needs to be married for free medical, it's like when people get married for a green card except she's literally green and there is no card. Menace has to marry someone to get the benefits, long enough to get her better."
"So you marry the frog then. I'm not a Frog on a Lawg kinda guy."
"Lawg...this is Delta-Eridan, it's one step above Indiana. Weed's not even legal here, Gay marriage isn't legal, robots can't marry organics and Marley is technically already married.."
"...To Menace?" he asked hesitantly.
"No!" she barked.
"Damn, I knew that was too convenient." he sighed.
"By the time we fly somewhere else and spend the fuel to get back, the deal would be expired. It's gotta be you. Obviously it's just a sham, you sign a paper, she get's medical care, you get a free minibar in Bone Town, and then when she's all better, we get you divorced and back to your normal self. Just get sham married."
"But if I get married to an aquatic-alien on a sham, won't all the water get absorbed by the sham?" he asked.
"Wow...don't even know where to start. We need someone who can legally marry two people. A captain can perform it but not on himself."
YOU ARE READING
Dipshits in Space: Season 6
Science Fiction...you even reading these things still? I mean at this point if you liked the other 5, you're gonna like this one, and if you didn't like the first 5, then why are you here? This is just silly. I don't have to tell you this season has the greatest r...
