Months went by, and not a single minute passed by where I wouldn't think of him. I couldn't escape his memory. Everything reminded me of him, the bed I slept in, the unfinished stories he published on ReadMe.com, and whenever I looked in the mirror. I would take a shower and see his loofa, hanging from the shower head, bone dry, and untouched, his tooth brush collecting dust, his pillow, still had his head indented perfectly in the middle. I couldn't eat, sleep, or drink, I would refuse to shower, and I would never leave my room. I blamed myself every day, I kept telling myself that it was my fault. The pain started to become unbearable, I started to use anything to numb the pain, alcohol, drugs, anything I could get my hands on. Every time I looked in the mirror, my reflection got more and more unfamiliar. The less I looked like Kaoru, the better I would start to feel. One day I decided that I would stop cutting my hair and I would dye it black. When I was done I looked in the mirror, and no longer saw Kaoru, I was so happy, but I also felt devastated, like I had just lost him for the second time. I ended up losing all of my friends except Haruhi. I don't know why Haruhi stayed with me through all of this butI was grateful I still had her.
One day I decided to go get a tattoo, I got a big tattoo on my arm that said in big bold letters, 'IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME' Nobody noticed for a very long time, hell, my mom couldn't even bare to look at me anymore. It wasn't until she caught me outside having a cigarette that she noticed my tattoo. "Hikaru, what the hell is that?" she yelled. "It's nothing mom." I replied, pulling my sleeve down to hide my tattoo. She looked at me with sadness and anger as she walked over to me, grabbed my arm and pulled up my sleeve. "This, is not nothing, I have watched you, and stood by for long enough, I already lost one son, I'm not about to lose another." She said angrily. I just looked down at my feet and took another drag. My mom grabbed the cigarette out of my mouth and threw it on the ground putting it out. "If you want to continue living here under my roof you need to quit poisoning yourself with, cigarettes, weed, and alcohol, you need to stop dyeing your hair, and you need to stop getting tattoo's. This rebellious behavior is going to get you nowhere. Do you think Kaoru would have wanted this for you? I'm taking you out of school, and putting you in counselling." She said sternly. "no, I'm not doing any of that. I'm leaving." I said as I ran inside and started packing my bags. My mom came running in after me. "Hikaru, can we please talk about this? Think of the life you're leaving behind." "Mom, I love you, but there's nothing holding me here anymore, everywhere I look I see him, I already bought a pane ticket, I'm leaving for Canada tonight." I replied. "What's in Canada that's not already here in Japan?" She asked. "An escape."
Before I left for my flight, I decided I would say goodbye to Haruhi. I stood outside her house contemplating whether telling her was a good idea or not, before I could ting the doorbell, the door swung open, and there stood Haruhi with a backpack and a suitcase. "Haruhi, what are you doing?" I asked surprised. "I just got off the phone with your mom, I'm not letting you go alone." She replied. "But what about being an honor student at Ouran?" "Your mother said she knows some people in Canada that would be able to get me into a nice highschool there. Plus, how are you going to survive in Canada without being able to speak english?" She asked. She had a good point. Haruhi was fluent in english and i barely even knew how to say hello. "Is Ranka even okay with you going?" "yes, he said that it would be good for me to explore the world while i'm still young." She said with a smile. With that, Haruhi and I took off to the airport. My mother had given her lots of money and had told her to ask if we ever need more. That's very typical of my mother, always wanting to help other people out, Kaoru definitely took after our mother, unfortunately, I took after our father.
After a couple of hours waiting, Haruhi and I finally got on our flight. As we ascended, we both took a final look at japan, that would be the last time in years that we would see Japan. It was hard to say goodbye, but at the same time, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. No longer would I have to feel sad, no longer would I have to think of him.
When we finally got to Canada, we couldn't believe how empty it looked, there was trees everywhere, the apartment buildings seemed so small, and everyone drove on the opposite side of the road. I could tell that this was the start to something amazing. When we got into the taxi, I couldn't stop staring at Haruhi, I was so unbelievably grateful to have her in my life, she's so pure, so positive, she was definitely out of my league. I decided to say something to her that I had never said before. "Haruhi.." "Yes Hika?" she said with a smile. "I love you." "I love you too." she said without hesitation. I was filled with joy as I grabbed her and kissed her, we definitely made the taxi driver uncomfortable but we didn't care.
When we got to our apartment we immediately fell to the floor. We were exhausted and full of jetlag. "this apartment comes with two rooms, you can pick whichever, I don't really care which one I get." I said. "I was kind of hoping that we would share a room." said Haruhi. "That's okay too." I said. We both ran to the room and plopped down on the bed. Haruhi laid her head on my chest and said "I could stay like this forever."
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The Lonely Hitachiin
FanfictionHikaru Hitachiin was just a normal high school student with a with a crush on a classmate. But when something happens to his younger twin brother , his life changes.
