Trente Et Un

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I stared at the moon. It was bright and enchanting. And there was an urge to tear everything to pieces.

It was just the bloodlust, the aggression. It wasn't me, it was the full moon and the Bite that had caused this. Deucalion wouldn't let me hurt anyone, he wouldn't let me destroy anything.

Taking deep breaths, I tried to hold onto that calm feeling I had while we kissed, while he held me in his arms. The joy as I read my writing to him and how he spoke of his favourite characters and his favourite descriptions. His favourite was still the waterfall, even though I had written so much more.

And his eyes… Every time I looked at them I was reminded of Gerard and what he did. And I hate it but if it wasn’t for that, I would have never gotten to know him. I would never have held his hand, or kissed him or wrote the story with the waterfall. I would never have danced with him or drunk tea.

I turned to look at him properly, I could feel myself shaking and I tried to resist the urge to attack him. I shouldn’t have wanted to attack him, he had been so kind to me. Deuc could have blinded me and he didn’t, he had helped me leave hunting behind.

This wasn’t working, I could feel rage consuming every little thought. I wanted to kill. I wanted to slice through flesh with claws and sink fangs into people.

“Stop fighting it, Liza.”

And I ran at him, furiously swiping with claws. His eyes glowed and he easily deflected every attack. His fingers wrapped around my left wrist and I tried to free myself. Yanking my hand free wasn’t working. Growling, I tried to free my hand by clawing at his. He let go of my hand after a few swipes at his wrist. I backed away, trying to think of how I would attack him.

I swiped at his arm and he grabbed my right wrist this time. Snarling, I bared my teeth and attempted to kick at his legs. Only to stumble back after being forcefully pushed.

The ground shook as he roared. My knees hit the floor and I gasped, watching as the claws vanished. I stopped myself from completely collapsing by propping myself up with my hands. Taking shaky breaths, I closed my eyes. I didn’t have an anchor.

I could feel the terror as I heard his footsteps. Looking up, I saw his outstretched hand and took it. He pulled me to my feet and I stared at the blood on his wrist and my hand.
“I hurt you,” I said softly as I lifted his wrist up. It had already healed but there was still his blood there.
“It’s nothing,” he said, shaking his head. Biting my lip, I stared at the blood on my nails and shuddered.

“I don’t have an anchor.”
“I’m not surprised,” he said. He started walking towards the sink. “What were you thinking about?”
“You,” I said as I followed with my hand still holding his. “I thought of you, and us. But it didn’t work.”
He smiled. “It doesn’t have to, though I feel a little flattered you thought of me.”

He bumped into the counter and reached out to turn the tap on. The fear was fading as he lifted my hands and put them under the warm water. The blood washed away and he grabbed a hand towel for me to dry my hands. There was still a tiny amount of fear, he had turned me back human with a roar that made the building shake. He wiped away his own blood and took my hands.

“I hurt you,” I repeated. I looked down at our hands.
“It’s alright,” he said softly. “It doesn’t hurt now it’s healed.”
“I attacked you though.” Even after everything, I had attacked him.
“The full moon does that to you,” he said calmly, as if I hadn’t just tried to carve into him with claws. “It isn’t your fault, my love.”

I smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. I could feel myself shaking still.
“It’s not your fault, Liza,” he whispered into my ear. His voice was as soothing as always and I tried to relax. “It takes time, no one would learn in four days.”
“I know,” I said quietly as I pulled away from the hug. “I just… I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“I told you I wouldn’t let you hurt anyone or destroy anything, you haven’t hurt me Liza, it was just a scratch.” Despite his insistence, there was still guilt.

“When Jack first turned, he cut open my chest, and ruined a rather nice shirt.” He chuckled and I smiled. “He also destroyed a rather nice glass coffee table by throwing Marco through it. Tasha had forgotten to lock the basement door properly. You haven’t done nearly as much damage. Don’t feel bad about it, Liza.”
“I’ll try not to,” I said. It was the best I could do.

Yawning, I lifted my hand to cover my mouth.
“Apparently, I'm tired,” I said, laughing a little. He hummed. “I never got to read my writing to you.” We had ended up talking about Gerard and my uncle, Alexander. And then we had been kissing. I smiled at the thought of it.
“You can read it to me tomorrow,” he said, smiling. “And I'll look forward to it.”
“How do you keep saying things that make me want to kiss you?” Giggling, I squeezed his hand.
“I ask myself the same thing.” He was smiling and I smiled back. I yawned again.

“Do you want to go to bed?” he asked.
“I probably should, shouldn't I?” I said as I nodded. But the way he asked… “Are you coming with me?”
“Do you want me to?”
“Do I really have to tell you the answer?” I asked as I started walking to his bedroom, still holding his hand.
He chuckled as he followed. “I suppose you don't have to answer that.”

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