Hiding Things (Johnlock)

Chapter 5-Sherlock. Talk. Now.

A/N- Major TW on this chapter too, same stuff as the last chapter. I also switch POV's a lot in this chapter, but it's mainly to catch the internal thoughts of John and Sherl.

Sherlock's POV

No. Please no. Tell me he doesn't know. Tell me he just disregarded it. He can't know everything, please no.

"Sorry, I slipped." I muttered, trying to pass it off.

"Yeah alright.." John reluctantly responded.

He knows. Maybe he doesn't? Just act clueless. It's your best shot.

I got up on my own and we all sat in the living room. I immediately retreated to my mind palace, which was calming enough.

John's POV

"Sherlock. Sherlock. Sherlock?"

"He must've retreated to his mind palace." Mycroft suggests.

"Seriously? Now?"

"You really think he actually wants to talk about this? He's avoiding us, obviously."

"Well we have to talk, now. Sherlock, come back. Follow the sound of my voice. I'm getting closer, and closer, and...?"

Sherlock slowly opens his eyes and realizes the situation.

Sherlock's POV

John you idiot. He had to pull me out, now? I needed to calm down and now I am stressed beyond imagination.

But he just wants to talk.

I don't care, he doesn't need to know anymore than he already does.

"Sherlock, we need to talk."

"No."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You know all you need to, more than you need to actually. You pulled me out of my mind palace unnecessarily. So no."

"Sherlock. Talk. Now. I'm dead serious."

"Well what else do you need to know John?"

"Everything! Tell me everything."

"Ask me stuff, I don't know what you wanna know exactly."

"Okay, when did all of this develop?"

"When I was ten."

"Ten? You were bloody ten years old?"

I turned hot red out of shame, and John apologized and let me continue.

"My dad used to scold me for eating too much, and ended up locking the fridge. I was fat, and still am."

"Bloody hell, Sherlock you were thin as a twig! Dad locked the fridge because he was an abusive bastard and wanted to see you suffer!"

"Well I believe I am fat now, and so from when I was young to present time, I have refrained from eating in hopes of being what my dad wanted. Mycroft noticed when I was eleven and tried to get me help, to no avail. I have been like this since, he's given up on my ED and moved to more pressing matters."

"Like?"

"The, um, actual suicide attempts."

I had been avoiding eye contact with John up until now but when I finally looked at him, tears were steadily flowing down his face, and he couldn't even look at me.

"I've disgusted you, haven't I? I should stop."

"Sherlock no, I'm worried for you. Please continue."

I didn't believe him, but regardless I pressed on.