BNHA x Transmasc Reader

Happy Birthday to Me😁

⚠trigger warning ⚠  transphobia, homophobia, thoughts of suicide, undiagnosed depression, repression, family issues

Today I turned 14. It was probably the worst birthday I've ever had. Throughout the week, my dad forgot it and my brother forgot it. My dad went as far as making plans with his friends an hour out of town before he needed to be reminded. Honestly, I've been soo tired all day, but at school, my day was just an all around bad one. My very first period of the day was language arts. We started a unit called "lean on me" and we had to write about someone we lean on. It made me really miss my best friend who's doing online school. Nobody except him uses my preferred name or pronouns. Recently, I've started4
to forget that I admitted I'm trans because nobody calls me the right things, despite what I told them. I already felt like crying. But the worst part was probably my math class, which I was so blessed to have all of periods 8/9 and 10 today. One guy said the f slur, another kept saying "iM a ShEMaLe", they kept asking super transphobic shit, and they made the suuuupper original kitchenware joke (I'm pansexual). They thought bisexual was a gender. One of them kept saying he was agender because he's "a gender". I get home and I have to pretend like my day was amazing and I'm a perfect straight, cis, Christian girl so my parents don't get upset. God forbid their little girl has a bad birthday because for some reason, it's more important than other days as well as my mental health. My dad isn't home from work yet, but when he gets back, he's still talking about his plans with his friends out of town. He made it sound like a joke, but I think he really wanted to go. This is after he missed my birthday last year to go to a wedding that he only complained about for months. My parents didn't get me anything other than a half deflated balloon and a shitty cookie press (which we already had) from the dollar tree. It wasn't even wrapped. My dad picked it up on his way home from getting my brother from cross country practice. Speaking of my brother- for his birthday, he got 2 video games both over $45. And last year, while my dad missed my birthday, we were in Universal Studios Parks for his. "We don't have a favorite child" my ass...

I thought about ending it. How funny would that be? The news article titled "teen girl found dead on her birthday because even the school system forgot it."

Yes. Yes you did read that correctly. The fucking school system forgot my birthday. Every day, they have the daily birthdays on the morning announcements, and mine wasn't on there. And they have it on file. I don't care. I was actually anxious about everyone knowing when my birthday is. But it was really eye opening to know that I was really that invisible to everyone that even the system forgot about me.

I asked my friend to kill me because I'm too chicken and he thought it was a joke. I guess I'll let him believe that.

So now here I am. The first half I was on the floor in my room, trying to keep my cries silent so my family would be happy. Now I'm doing the same thing but in the bathroom because the door locks. I've had to pause writing this little part here that's exactly 584 words now at least 12 times, probably more, just so I don't let out a sob that's too loud. Because how do I explain to my parents why they're upset because I had a bad birthday? I can't say I'm trans or pan or even that I'm missing my friend because they'll just say that I'll see him on Saturday. No, I need a Javi hug and I need it now. Why are birthdays so important anyway? They're just another day.

So yeah. I turned 14 today. It was a great day. One I can only wish to forget but I know I never will.

But when I see people and they ask me as if they care "how was your birthday?" how will I respond?

"It was good!"

"It was great!"

"A lot of fun!"

"Good thanks for asking!"

Basically anything you see on the back of a book instead of a blurb because it's filled with clipping g from The New York Times review.

I'll probably be doing a lot of angst chapters and a lot of Kirishima, maybe some more Hawks but mostly Kiri. He's one of my primary comfort characters. I might make this into a one shot, but I might not.

If anyone has any advice, whether it be what the hell to do to stop feeling like shit, some good songs to listen to when I feel like shit, or even Yagami Yato sounds to listen to to cheer me up, please tell me...

I'm really sorry that there have been so many author's notes in a row-

You obviously don't have to but it'd mean a lot.

I'll finish up and get the Hawks and Deku chapters out to you. Love y'all! Stay safe! Take off your binder! Drink some water! Eat something with nutritional value! Be gay! Do crime! Get some sleep!