Hyssopus - Malleus x Reader (on hiatus)

My Sincerest Apologies

Hello everyone, I know you've all been patient with me throughout these few weeks together, me writing for you all was a great honor, and you all reading my book was my greatest joy.

But lately, I've been in a, not so good state, mostly mentally, and I've just been so exhausted lately, I'm always tired and just, dejected, I've also taken up tutoring for a little bit of financial support, since I'm not at the age where I can get a real job yet.

But there's no need to worry, I'm just going to do something I never thought I would do, and have never planned to do before, and I'm terribly sorry to say but,

I will be putting this book on hold, I am SO terribly sorry to everyone who has been so patient and have been reading my book so far, I have never intended for any of this to have happened.

When I started this book, I thought everything was ok, but what I hadn't realised, was that I was still living in my own little world.

After experiencing many horrible life betrayals and having been lied to so many times, I've kind of developed a coping mechanism.

And that coping mechanism was to just, never trust anyone like I used to, ever again.

But what I didn't realised was that, it was slowly breaking me.

I had shut myself in, I had completely locked myself in my own self, always afraid to be who I truly was.

I have anger issues, and I'm working hard to overcome them, to have better control over myself, to think before I speak, to listen more, and to keep an open mind.

Yet, what I didn't realised was that, it was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be, but I know I can do it.

And when I do, I'll look back on myself, and see how I've improved, so again, I'm really REALLY sorry for putting this book on hold.

And yet, I've realised that I started to yearn for someone who would understand me for who I was, who would be there to listen to all of my feelings being laid bare, and for someone who would be there for all of my breakdowns, and I'd do the same for them, I'd be there for them like how they'd be there for me.

I still do, I still yearn for someone who would understand me.

I still yearn for someone who would not knock me down everytime I succeed in something I'm happy with.

I still yearn for someone who would not pressure me into doing something I despised and had a bad history with.

And I still yearn for someone who would understand that, just because I'm good at something doesn't mean I enjoy it.

I guess I just yearn for someone who would understand ME.

But what I didn't notice was that, while I was craving and yearning for all of these things.

More situations started to arise, more problems.

So I decided to start tutoring, like I said, for financial support.

But, there's no need to worry, because I know that, one day, just maybe, just maybe, someone up there would smile upon me and finally say "you've done well, you've worked hard, so here, I will send you this Angel, whom will love and understand you, like you've always wished for, I hope you can rest now"

Ironically, I don't believe in things like that, but I know that, these hard times will come to pass.

With hard work and dedication, I'll be sure to come back to write this book.

I Promise You.

Sincerely Your Author - Namoe