Shattered Reality

V

After a nightmare, I sometimes can't sleep for days. I walked to the bathroom and grabbed the Xanax out of the medicine cabinet. These are the times that I start writing. Writing helps alleviate my stress and depression. I love writing fiction books. Being able to explore and go on adventures in your mind really help my find some sort of happiness.

I grabbed my laptop and logged into my Wattpad account. It had been a while since I updated my last story. It is a tale of mystery where a girl lives inside of her own head and fights the demons she created.

"You still write them dumb ass stories?"

The smell of Paco Rabanne 'Invictus' and stale weed filled my nostrils.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Damn, hello to you too. You don't miss me?"

"Why are you here?"

"You tell me....Why am I here? You're the one that brings me here. If you don't want me here than why the fuck do you make me come?"

I ignored him and went back to writing. His voice irked my soul. As I wrote he would pace the room, huffing and puffing, begging for attention. So damn annoying. The sun came up and I was fifteen chapters into my story. I started to get tired. It was 6:00 am and I had an 8:00 am appointment with Dr. Sterling. I was ready to talk about that day. Maybe then I would finally be able to get some sleep. I set my alarm and fell asleep.

I woke up in a Panic and looked at the clock. It read 9:47 am.

"Oh, shit, I slept through the fucking alarm". I jumped up and got myself presentable and quickly hurried over to Dr. Sterling's office. I walked up to the woman at the desk.

"I have an appointment with Dr. Sterling. I am late but I need to see her".

"I'm sorry, she is booked for the rest of the day. I can help you reschedule though".

I don't want to reschedule. I need to see her".

"I'm sorry but that is not possible today, but...."

I pushed past the woman. She was about 5 foot nothing and 130 pounds, tops. She put herself in the path of me getting to the door to Dr. Sterling.

"You cannot go in there, you need to back...". Before she finished her sentence, before I had time to think, I reached out and smacked her across her face and pushed her out the way. I opened the door to Dr. Sterling's office and walked in.

Dr. Sterling jumped up..."Jasmine, you can't just come in here".

"I'm ready. I'm ready to talk about it now".

"Jasmine, that is great but this isn't the time. I am with another client". At that moment the other client stood up and yelled, "Get out bitch, it's not your time".

I went to lunge at them but them felt myself being grabbed from behind. I was overwhelmed by the strength of the men holding me. I fought and fought hard. I was kicking and flailing, and their grip started loosening. Right when I was about to get out of their hold, I felt a sharp sting in my arm. I started fading out.

I woke up in a hospital bed, handcuffed to the rail. I pulled at the handcuffs and started getting angry.

"Come and take me out of these things", I screamed.

A nurse walked up to me and calmly stated, " I will not do that. You need to calm down and maybe we can address that".

"Get them the fuck OFF"!!

"Sounds like you're not ready. I'll come back".

"Bitch, don't walk away from me". She ignored me and continued on her way.

Hours later, Dr. Sterling came to check on me. She was genuinely concerned. I didn't want to talk to her anymore. I was over the situation and over her.

"Jasmine, are you okay?"

I stared off at the TV acting like I was interested in what was on it but in actuality I had nothing more to say to her. She dismissed me when I needed her. I had finally mustered up the courage to discuss that day. I was ready for the nightmares to end.

"Oh, they are going to really have you committed if you don't stop the bullshit", his voice instantly sent a wave of irritation through my body as he walked up to my hospital bed.

"Fuck off, asshole".

"Jasmine, I will come back when you are ready to talk to me", Dr. Sterling said before leaving".

"She thinks you are a shit show", he said laughing.

"Well you don't fucking help anything. How many times can someone tell you to go to hell before you actually get the fucking point".

"I will go to hell as soon as you go".

"I hate you". At that moment the nurse walked back in.

"Are you feeling calmed down", she asked. While I ignored her, I didn't yell because I knew that it wouldn't get me far with her. "Oh you are still not ready? Okay", she stated as she went to walk out of the room again.

"Wait!", I yelled. She turned around and stood there.

"I've calmed down".

"Great. I will have them come in and take those nice little bracelets off". The guard came in, unlocked the cuffs and removed them. "Please don't make me have to put them back on". I didn't respond and went back to watching the TV.

I got released and went straight home to take a shower. Jasmani was with her grandmother for the summer and I tried to call a few times and didn't get an answer. I missed her and was ready to drive over there but I told myself to relax. I sat on the couch flipping channels and the news came on.

" Tomorrow will be the first day of the trail in the cause of the fiery death of a local father........" I tuned it out. I had completely lost track of time. Maybe that was why I have had trouble sleeping and have been overly stressed out. I got anxious at the thought of being in court tomorrow. I debated if I even wanted to be there. I didn't really have a choice. I needed to be there. For Jasmani.

I changed the channel to not think about that and try to take my mind off of it for the moment. I dozed off on the couch. I actually was able to sleep.