Lonely Old People - Paul McCartney Fanfiction

Chapter 16 - She's Back!

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"Do you think they'll like me?" I asked Paul as I brushed through the curls in my hair with my fingers.

He talked with his mouth stuffed full of the sweets in the bowl. "Of course they will," he said, before swallowing the sweets. "It's your own damn show, Lola."

"I haven't been on for months," I said. "They might've forgotten me."

"The show is named after you, they get a reminder every time the show is on. You have that big sign saying your name, of course they can't have forgotten who you are," Paul said. He dug around the bowl before groaning. "Mallory, you ran out of all the strawberry chewy ones."

I chuckled. "Well I wonder who ate them all."

"Ok so maybe I raid your bowl every time I'm here, but those ones just became my favourite!" Paul said, before walking up behind my chair and leaning over, resting his arms on it. He smiled as we looked at the mirror together. "You look amazing."

"I hope so," I said, not even realising I was lifting my chin up slightly.

Paul frowned slightly and placed his hands on my shoulders, standing up straight. "It's still bothering you?" he asked.

I shrugged. Even though Paul and my mind told me to stop worrying about the scar and how I look, I still did. It didn't go away. I was always scared of people seeing it and thinking it looked bad or something. All my life I had been a pretty face and sometimes it feels like it's all I have or all I am. One little thing had me feel insecure and like I lost some kind of worth.

"It looks so obvious, everyone's gonna see it," I said, though I knew I couldn't do anything about it. I knew it wasn't good for me to worry so much, but it was all I remembered how to do sometimes.

I had just taken a few pills while I was in the bathroom to calm me down. That was the only place I would be alone, obviously for privacy reasons. I just needed Paul to be waiting outside. Even though I felt like a burden, he assured me that he was happy to help me and stay by my side. I was getting better, I could be in the next room for about 30 minutes without getting freaked out. We were working on helping me get past that fear.

Anything past being alone for 30 minutes would drive me insane. We tried to push it after a week of having me get used to it, but I couldn't do it. I started sobbing and screaming feeling like I would turn around and see Seth standing there with his malicious grin. It all seemed silly to some, but it was a genuine fear and nightmare that constantly followed me around. I felt like he could come back to hurt me again.

I've managed to keep my pills hidden which has surprised me. I took them every day when I could. It made me feel guilty though. Whenever I walked out of the bathroom and saw Paul there I felt terrible. It felt like I was betraying his help and all that he was doing for me by taking those pills, but I needed them. They made me feel better and that was all I needed to justify my use.

"People won't notice it darling, and if they do, it makes you look badass. I like it," Paul said.

"You always say that kind of stuff to try make me feel better," I said, sighing.

"Well I mean it, I think you look fine with it. I've got a scar on me lip anyway, remember that crash I was in? Look," Paul said, pointing at his lip. "C'mon, all the cute people have a scar somewhere. Welcome to the club."

I smiled a little. "You always know what to say."

"Oh nonsense, I just say whatever junk ends up in that brain of mine. Look darling, no one will care. Maybe they'll make up some story about how you're dead and there's a replacement running around, but at the end of the day, it's just a scar and at least you know you made it out of that situation," Paul said with a slight chuckle. That rumour about Paul always cracked me up. "It reminds you that you survived. You're a brave one, y'know."