Jin~
I was hurted by hearing the word she let go after confessing to her the last few weeks.... I said the word that i feel for her "I love you",,she only fucking said"okay" as her response..
And you know what?
It hurted me so much.
It feels like a heavy rock crash into me that cause me to fall and lost hope from being anxious in knowing that her falling for me is impossible....
As well as letting myself to fall for her which i regret the most,,thinking that i shouldn't done this from the first place..
Should i let her go?
Will i let her to be free??
Just to tell the truth,,it wasn't really my intention to kidnapped her without any reason..
I've done this from the first place to get her and make her mine..
But sometimes i thought....if ever i'll let her..
What about the night we shared??
Will it end just like that because of sacrificing??
Will i able to see her again??
But no...never..
I wont let her go..why would i?..i cant..i love her..i know she will never love me nor like me the way i wanted to be, but i'm still hoping that maybe..just maybe she will love me back...
Is it that bad to assume?..
Her word never leave my mind..even if it's been a few weeks her word is still fresh from my mind..and dumb shit...it fucking hurts..
"Ah..why did i fall so hard?!"my head is under my pillow covering it hoping that it will erase the thoughts that making me stress lately..
I took a deep breath for a second to calm myself...this is the first time a girl makes my mind go crazy..
A loud thud is heard from nana's room and i immediately stood up from my bed..i waited for a while and place my ear against the wall that divide our room..
My heart pounded hard when i starting to hear a gagging sound making me hell nervous..shit..what is happening?..
I run faster than a bolt of lightning to see her...i stop when i finally reach her door hesitating if i should walk in or not..but when did i start to think twice about this?..
I open slowly the door and peep at her bed..i saw nothing..she's no where to be found..my forehead furrowed from my confusion....
Then again i hear then gagging sound with a mix of puking from her bathroom...is she sick??...what the hell is happening?!?..
I enter in the bathroom and saw her puking in the sink while holding the border of the sink really hard that i can see her knuckles turn white..
I walk closer and patted her back..she look shock when i put my hand behind her..but the that quickly disappeared when she start puking again..
"Are you okay?"okay...that is really a stupid question for me to ask..
"No...i think i'm sick.."she said between her short breath..
"Do you feel like puking again?" My hand make a circular motion relaxing her..
"No..not really but feel dizzy.."she grab my forearm as she try to steady her self from standing....
"No..let me carry you to bed"i suggest..
"But i can walk-"
"Shut up, nana...i'm worried right now.."her face look down as i can see that she really need to sleep..
I place my hand on her back and the other hand on the back of her knee..i carry her carefully and walk her out off the bathroom placing her on her bed...
"I have been puking this past few day..i don't really know what did i eat or drink to make me feel like this but Jin...i think.....
I think i'm pregnant"
Well shit....
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I, Eatf0odmychild updated again...lol..
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