twenty six.

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                                                        jude.


mom bawled her eyes out for two days straight.

it was awful.

utterly and devastatingly awful.

she still loved him.

i knew it.

everybody knew it.

i did not like to see her cry. mom was beautiful and delicate.

she looked so young, pure even. 

everybody knew she had a heart of gold.

i couldn't understand how dad had the audacity to abandon her--us.


i wondered if luke would leave me now that it's been two weeks and we haven't talked despite his efforts.

i wondered if leo would get annoyed and not want to be my friend now that've been unwillingly avoiding him. 

i wondered if i was ever going to have a heart of gold now that it felt like it was dripping in black filthy ink.

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