Stories From Under A Bootheel (Rants, Laughs, and Tears)

Chapter 3 My Friend Eddie Part 4. A Wild Ride

"Get your motor runnin'

And head out on the highway

Lookin' for adventure

And whatever comes our way."

"Born to Be Wild" by Mars Bonfire for Steppenwolf"

On another occasion, Eddie and I went to visit my friend Bruce who was laid up in the hospital from a bike accident. Eddie and I looked up to Bruce because he was a year older and very much a kindred spirit. At least as far as having a total disrespect for authority. 

 Bruce was sort of a cross between a Beatnik and a Hippie. He was very much into Jack Kerouac, Ken Kesey, and the like. A bit too intellectual for Eddie and I who were more into just having fun. Bruce did introduce me to Hermann Hesse's works and Hesse is still one of my favorite authors. I prefer his lesser known works like "Narcissus and Goldmund" and "Beneath the Wheel" over the well-known "Steppenwolf" and "Siddhartha." Hesse won the Nobel for his book the Glass Bead Game. I tried but could not finish reading it. There is no telling for tastes. Bruce will come up again in another chapter, but this chapter is primarily an Eddie story.

It was an early summer evening and near the end of visiting hours, when we decided Bruce could use some cheering up. He was clearly miserable being confined to a hospital bed. I asked him if the nurses would mind if we took him out for some fresh air. Eddie asked, "Why do they have to know about it?"

Nothing more needed to be said. I just had to check the hallway to make sure it was clear. Eddie and I got Bruce out of bed, propped him up between us Weekend-at-Bernie's style and took him out the backdoor of the hospital.

I know, we were not the first people to ever break a friend out of the hospital. You are no doubt expecting more, but even Bruce wasn't expecting what followed. Eddie and I were feeling particularly mischievous; so, yes there is more.

We loaded Bruce into Eddie's mother's big Buick and headed out with no particular destination in mind. We were stopped at a red light when a car with some other teenagers full of themselves pulled up beside us and made some disparaging remarks. We didn't recognize them so we kept our mouths shut, memorized their faces and their car, and when we pulled away from the light went back to Eddie's house. 

At Eddie's, we put five baseball bat length two-by-fours on the floor boards of the car and called Dale to join us for a little adventure. I made Eddie stop by my friend Bill's house so I could talk him into joining us. It was my opinion that Bill did not get enough excitement in his life.

Please understand, this crew we assembled were the farthest thing from ruffians you could imagine. Except for Eddie we were honor students who had never been in trouble in our lives. Honestly, Bill who is now a Professor Emeritus at San Jose state University with a Ph.D. and a host of other intellectual credentials never really trusted Eddie so I made up a story to get him into the car. We didn't tell him our true intent until he was pinned between Bruce and I in the back seat and he asked about the two-by-fours. I told him they were instructional aids for a study session for some kids in need of tutoring. Bill was not happy with the proposed lesson plan.

We really didn't think we'd ever find the teenagers we were looking for. Quests are about the journey not the destination. And now, if we did encountered them, we outnumbered them and we were armed with two by fours. Still, I was doubtful we would be up for a real fight. Bruce was in no condition to fight and Bill wasn't about to. All the same, just being young and on a noble quest was enough. Picture the Big Bang nerds when they went after Todd Zarnecki only without Ride of the Valkyries playing. I wish we had had Ride of the Valkyries playing. I really wish we had had a girl like Penny with us. But that only happens on TV.

In real life, things rarely go down "as seen on T.V." We actually did catch up with our prey. We pulled up behind them at a stop light. Eddie yelled something at them. They yelled something back. Dale and I started piling out of our car with two-by-fours in hand.

Our adversaries were clearly fooled by our show of force. They ran the red light and took off like their lives depended on it – which of course, they didn't, but fortunately for us, they did not know that.

Naturally, we got back into the car and chased after them. Apparently, we share that gene with dogs which makes them chase after anything that runs from them.

We chased them all over Northeast Arkansas until we ran out of gas at one AM in the middle of nowhere. Remember, this was before the wide spread use of cell phones. Eddie's mom was used to his absconding with her car for long periods, so there was no one looking for us. We were stranded. Luckily, we found a farmhouse and believe it or not Eddie managed while staring down the barrels of a twelve-gauge shotgun, to convinced the farmer not to shoot us and to give us a gallon of gas.

We got Bruce back to the hospital where I am sure he had some explaining to do. We didn't wait around to hear the explanation. I'm sure it was very entertaining. I'm just not sure the nurses would have appreciated the role we had played in the matter.

We got Bill home where he swore to never get in a car with us again. Although I'm pretty sure he appreciated having a story to tell about the crazy friends of his childhood.

Eddie dropped me off at my house and the only explanation I had to give my parents for coming home so late was that Eddie ran out of gas. At least I didn't have any burnt jeans to explain.