Chapter 8 Not Always Black and White Part 1 Stereotypes

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"No man is an island. No man stands alone.

Each man's joy is joy to me. Each man's grief is my own.

We need one another. So, I will defend,

each man as my brother, each man as my friend."

Joan Baez, "No Man Is an Island"

"You are my brother. And I will pick you up when you fall.

As soon as I've finished laughing."

Anon, Facebook post

Being raised in the South, one can hardly say they are color blind. But most whites really are blind to the lives experienced by blacks in this country. For most young whites, it was not an intentional blindness. It was just the way things were. With segregation, interactions between the young people of both races was almost nonexistent. At least that was my simple southern small-town experience. You hear stories about all the turmoil caused when integration first started in Southern schools. I can only speak for what I witnessed and it was quite different from what was reported by the media.  

I was a sophomore when Theodus became the first black to attend our high school. Being a southern liberal and used to befriending outcasts, I went out of my way to get to know him. He was an incredibly nice guy, with a great sense of humor. He was also a great football player who rapidly became one of the most popular guys in school. Yeah, we never got that close, because he hung out with the "cool" kids. Most of my friends fell into the nerd and weirdo categories.

Theodus's integration went so well probably because he was the first and because he was such a great guy. I left high school for college after my junior year; so, I can't say what happened after that. I suspect things may have been harder for the blacks that came after him. There were those white students who were less open minded than the ones Theo was exposed to and I don't doubt they could have made the integration less than pleasant for those who were not star athletes. Please don't think I'm negatively stereotyping all Southerners as racist rednecks. I'm just saying there were some, but I want to believe for the most part they were in the minority.

My next encounter with blacks my own age was not until I entered the Navy after college. There had been a few black students at Georgia Tech, but again they ran in more popular circles than I did. I was at Tech when Eddie McAshan was quarterback. He was the first black quarterback in Tech history and only the second African American to start at quarterback for a major Southeastern University. There were twelve thousand students attending Tech when I was. Two hundred and seventy of them were female (That number I remember, well because to a young guy in his prime a female population of only 2.25% is a significant statistic). There were probably even fewer black students.

In Navy boot camp, there were definitely more African Americans. One young black recruit, Nate, took up with me from day one. We didn't have a lot in common. Nate just needed someone to look out for him and I was willing to do it. Please don't think I am negatively stereotyping blacks as being in need of help. Nate was a scared young kid away from home for the first time and he latched on to someone a little older and who appeared less intimidated by the situation.

Nate wasn't the brightest light on the porch, but he wasn't the dimmest either. The white recruit, Kelly, in the bunk next to mine gets that honor. I had to teach him how to make his bunk, fold his clothes and shine his shoes. Please don't think I am negatively stereotyping Irish as lazy incompetents. I myself am part Irish.

I'm digressing a bit, but as you may have notice, my writing is where I confess and seek atonement for all my sins and there is one incident that occurred during boot camp that I really need to get off my chest. People get stressed out in boot camp and one day I just lost it with Kelly. He came to me because he couldn't figure out how to open his can of shoe polish. I remember yelling at him, "Really! You are stumped by a can of shoe polish?" He just gave me a hangdog look. Nate who overheard gave me a dirty look and assured Kelly that polish cans can be tricky and showed him how to open one.

There are all kinds of bright and all kinds of dim. When it came to other people's feelings, I was clearly the dim bulb on the porch and it was Nate who provided the light. You see why if I were to have a stereo type for blacks, I would characterize them as kind and understanding. Of course, with age you learn how misleading stereotypes can be.

Nate, Kelly, and I all completed boot camp and parted friends at the bus station as we left for our separate assignments.

My next black friends in the Navy were responsible for my real education regarding black life in America.

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