Spencer Reid Took My Life

five. Dilaudid

The team had finally finished their case, though it was a rough one. The last victim and the unsub both died. The unsub was a woman who had been in a tragic accident, disforming her features. She went after young females who resembled her past self. Ultimately, she managed to shoot the last victim we were trying to save and then herself, you and Reid were with the victim in her final moments. Not that most moments, as a part of this team, didn't fuck you up, but this really hit the spot. You really thought you were going to save her.

The only thing you were holding on to was getting a couple of days off to talk to Spencer, times like this make you realize life is short, and you wanted to see if he would give you guys a try. It was worth a shot.

When you guys got home you anxiously did your paperwork. Wondering if you even had a shot with Spencer, or if you should have just been happy with the one great night and move on. You avoided looking at Spence too much because you were so nervous. You didn't notice anything wrong with him.

He finished much earlier than you and left kind of abruptly, you just assumed he wanted to go home and let loose. After a while, you finally finished. And headed home to shower.

You took a long hot shower, trying to relax and prepare yourself. When you got out you picked out some purple lingerie, knowing it was his favorite color. And then tried to decide how to dress, is this something to dress up for? After making a mess of your clothing you decided to go casual. If he likes you for you then he'll like you dressed down. God, I sound like a middle schooler. But leggings and t-shirt seemed fine. You checked the time, 9 pm. That's not too late to show up without calling right?

30 minutes later

Well shit, I'm really here. Do I knock, do I text first? You nervously paced until finally deciding on just knocking.

Knock Knock Knock Knock

You stood there for a good 30 seconds, and right as you were about to knock again, the door swung open quickly. And you just started rambling off your thoughts, without even looking at Reid.

" So, I know you are probably wondering why I'm here, and why I didn't call or something first but I was a afraid that if I did I would lose my nerve and I didn't want to lose my nerve because I really need to say this and-"

"Y/n" Reid tried getting your attention

"- and I've been thinking about it all week and-

"Y/n." He got a little louder

" And Reid I just need to tell you that I really care about you and-

"Y/n!" You stopped, why wouldn't he let you finish?

You looked at him and he looked... different, just wrong.

" You are so fucking boring y/n" Your head snapped up, what?

"Hey, I'm gonna be honest with you because no one else will." You had no idea what he was about to say, but you knew it wasn't good.

"Fine, what?" you held back tears.

"Any guy who says he's interested in you, beyond just fucking you... is full of shit." You felt the tear fall. And your hopes get crushed. And you didn't know what you were supposed to do. So you walked away. A walk sooner turned into a run. You needed to get away fast.

And so you kept running until you got to your car. Once inside you just cried, no words. Just hitting your steering wheel over and over until you were calm enough to drive. And straight to the liquor store, you went. A bottle of vodka secured, you headed home.