The tour

Chapter 22

It was almost over before Kristina knew it. For years she had wondered what it must feel like to be on a huge stage in front of a huge chanting and screaming crowd, screaming your name, watching your every move, listening with passion to every tune. Now she was actually experiencing it, and yet she wasn't. It didn't feel real, and her heart was constantly beating too fast, her fingers were sweaty and she kept having to take deep breaths to not panic. It wasn't like when she just played music for herself alone, where she could totally zone out of the moment and disappear to a better place, with or without an audience. Here she was constantly in the moment, and it wasn't a very good one. She was kind of disappointed. Was this really it? And did the nerves never leave? Was it never fun, always frightening?

They were almost finishing up 'Thriller' and Kristina was backstage changing into her outfit for the IJCSLY-sequence. Once again, Michael had picked out her outfit, and she hated it. She was wearing a silver-sequined short, tight skirt and a black top which was practically see-through. And high heels. She was not good with heels and on top of the rest of her nerves, Kristina now had to worry about falling onstage. She tried not to think of it and instead concentrated on her rapid breathing as Karen Faye powdered her face.

'How're you holding up?' she asked worried with a pitying smile.

'Is it that bad?'

'Well, I can definitely tell that you're nervous.'

'Oh God, I know. I'm horrible, aren't I? It's just that crowd, they scare the crap out of me! They're insane!'

'Don't say that in front of Michael. You know how he loves his fans,' Karen giggled as she added deep red lipstick to Kristina's lips, which Kristina thought made her look like a hooker.

'I can't distract myself from them. I feel like shit out there,' Kristina sighed, feeling the tears coming in her eyes. Not now, she didn't have time for that!

'Oh honey,' Karen pouted and gave her a hug, careful not to smear her make up or wrinkle the clothes.

'It's just you and Michael out there, alright? That's all you have to think about. Just you and Michael. And singing, of course,' Karen whispered to her.

Kristina felt yet another stream of panic. She had forgotten that she had to sing. Onstage. With Michael freakin' Jackson. In front of 70.000 screaming and completely insane fans.

'Break a leg!' Karen said clapping her back and pushing her towards the stage as someone shoved a microphone in her hands. Michael was already singing the first verse and she had to enter soon.

'God, I really hope I don't,' Kristina thought to herself.

At that moment Michael turned towards her, and Kristina looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time in days. There was no denying the fact that he looked incredibly sexy in his stagewear. The sweat on his face with a few black curls sticking to it only marked his beautiful features more. His eyes were beaming in a new way, probably from adrenaline and the cheering fans. Kristina felt the butterflies enter her stomach when he smiled at her and reached a hand out to her. She smiled back at him and walked onstage.

'God she's beautiful,' Michael thought to himself. He was completely mezmerised by her and couldn't take his eyes away. He didn't want to. 

'I hear your voice now

You are my choice now

The love you bring

Heaven's in my heart

At your call I hear harps

And angels sing'

Kristina sang as she walked confidently onstage, holding Michael's stare, grabbing his outreached hand when she came near enough. The touching of their hands gave Kristina the now well known feeling of electricity buzzing back and forth between them. They continued singing in perfect harmony as the crowd went crazy, but Michael and Kristina didn't notice. They also didn't notice the musicians who smiled to each other, or Karen and one of the stylist backstage who watched them and went 'Aaaww!'

They only had eyes for each other.

Even though Kristina felt a lot more secure now with her eyes only on Michael, she was still nervous and Michael could tell. While singing he turned her to face him and lift up her chin by his index finger to make her look him in the eye.

'Look at me. You're okay,' he said with his eyes, and Kristina understood. And she was, as long as he kept looking at her like that.

Michael then let his hand slide down the side of her body where it ended up cupping her right hip. He had to retain himself to not throw away his microphone and press her to his body. He longed for her. She answered his touch by grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers, which was really out of character for you. Michael couldn't help but wonder if it was because she wanted to or if it was for the show. They rocked slowly back and forth to the music, before Michael came closer and put his forehead to hers.

'This is my life

And I' he sang before Kristina joined him with a smile

'Want to see you for always' as the crowd went insane again. The tension between the two were obvious to anyone, but they didn't care. They were living in the moment, and for the first time on that stage, it was a good moment for Kristina. They continued singing as Michael twirled her away from him and back again, never losing their stare.

Kristina had never felt so beautiful before. It felt like he was singing every line to her and she didn't want in to end. It did before she knew it and she felt her heart crash a little as Michael broke their stare. He didn't leave, though, without giving her hand an extra squeeze before releasing it as Kristina waved to the crowd and walked backstage. She was done for the day. She couldn't wait to do that song again.

Out back Karen and the other stylists rushed to her.

'You did so great!'

'Oh you were wonderful!'

'You guys were amazing!' they all shrieked at her as Kristina just had a big smile on her face and tried to control her breathing. It felt like a medal when Trey came up, hugged her and highfived her for the performance. What a lot of feelings in a short amount of time. As bad as it had started, it had ended up really good. She was really proud of that last performance.

The band was now rocking 'Bad', which was the last song on the setlist. Because of her outfit and the song she had just sung Kristina wasn't supposed to be onstage, so she watched from behind as Michael ruled his crowd. When the song ended he disappeared out the other side. She knew that he would go straight to a limousine and head back to the hotel to try and avoid the crowd. In her mind she was already worried that she wouldn't see him again until the next performance tomorrow evening. As the audience went crazy and gave their final extremely loud cheer she realized that the show was over. She had survived, and despite a few faults due to nerves in the beginning, she had done pretty well. Kristina felt like she was on cloud 9, and when Kelly emerged from the stage and gave her a sweaty hug she said yes when she found out most of the other musicians were going out for drinks.

'This adventure could go on to be a good one,' she thought to herself while smiling as she gathered her things and went out to the tourbus to go back to the hotel.