chapter eight ;

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Kicking back my feet after a solid ending to my daily stream, my mind recounts every interaction with Schlatt today and the mere thought of him makes my heart kickstart into a frenzy. Bewildered at the way I can feel my heart thump a million times a minute, I shake my head and let go of any thoughts about him and instead choose to dramatically jump out of my chair and make a beeline to the bathroom. Surely a splash of water can calm my jittery nerves? The way my hands get all clammy prove otherwise but I turn on the sink and dose my face in cold water. I look at my reflection in the mirror and mentally slap myself in the face as all my eyes can see is a wet, blushing mess. Why in the world am I getting butterflies now?

No. I shouldn't feel any sort of romantic feelings for someone I make content with. Although I do consider him a friend, I wouldn't say we are on the basis of anything more than two personalities who create videos together. The way my brain releases an abundance of serotonin and a red tinge appears on my heated cheeks make me feel a little guilty. All we do is jokingly flirt with each other to satisfy our fanbases, why in all means am I suddenly disappointed that it'll only be to stir up our viewers?

I sigh and push the whole thought into the back of my mind and wipe my face clean of any droplets, moisturising my face to avoid looking dull on screen later. Would it be too weird if I went for an outfit change for the upcoming Love or Host? These questions carry more weight than necessary and once again am I embarrassed that they're holding such a sentimental effect on me. I choose to change and once I deem myself presentable, I walk towards the mirror in a pair of straight-cut jeans and a button-up top.

The awkwardness I embody when I give myself a lopsided grin and two thumbs up in the reflection of my mirror pains me and before I knew it, I was walking back to my setup because my inner conflict somehow dragged on for a solid hour and Austin was bombarding my inbox with only one question:
Are you picking Love or Host?

I quickly type up my answer and send it, being met with a "Thanks :)" barely a few seconds later. The nerves kick in at full speed and I maintain some sanity as my mouse lulls over the Zoom call that everyone is mindlessly mingling in. I request access to the group call and a couple seconds later am met with the faces of many streamers who seem kind-hearted and friendly. My arrival alerts some of the girls and they instantly greet me with warm smiles and I grin in response.

"Hi Y/N! How have you been?" Is a question I'm asked by Alex Botez and I flash her a smile before answering with a "I'm doing wonderful, how about you?" She answers along the lines of doing fine and I congratulate her and Andrea for their spike in popularity over the last few months. I'm met with a "Thank you, it's all so crazy but thankful either way. Goodluck out there today."

After 15 or so minutes of aimless chatter amongst all the 'contestants' I come to the conclusion that this Love or Host will be a fantastic way to pass the time. They were all so easy to pass jokes along with and seemed to have a clear goal ahead of them. Just as I was getting comfortable with everyone Austin jumps in and says he'll be starting the show in a few minutes.

Schlatt greets us all and happily munches on what appears to be a Happy Meal and tells us that he hopes to finally get rid of Minx and find himself a new girlfriend. Austin unmutes and kickstarts the show, introducing himself and Doc before putting all the attention on Schlatt, demanding him to introduce himself for what is possibly the 3rd time on the show.

Everyone throws their hat into the ring with their introductions until it's my turn. I was partly listening to Mia's intro when the words "Last but not least, ladies and gentlemen, it's y/t/n!" stumble out of Austin's mouth and I look up into the camera and kick off with my introduction.

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