Cartman oneshotzzz

Angry Teddy Bear

There you were....minding your own business. You were working on flash cards for your high-steaks American history exam. You normally don't even make flash cards, but this test was a "make or break" on weather you would pass senior year, so you had to make sure you aced it. You were just sitting there quietly. Peacefully. When all of the sudden....

Bang!!

Out of nowhere, your bedroom door bursts open revealing a deranged looking, chubby teen with a bear aesthetic. "MOTHER FUCKER" he announced.

     "Evening, cartman." You shiftlessly said, keeping your eyes firmly on your unfinished flash cards. Cartman moved further in your room with heavy footsteps.

     "(Y/n)! I Am so fucking upset right now you have no idea!!" He bellowed.

"Obviously." You replied with a smirk, turning in your swivel chair to face him. His eyebrows were cartoonishly furrowed and his fists were clenched so tight his nails were practically breaking the skin of his palms. He had a black jacket that was unzipped to show off his red V-neck. His jacket matched his faded denim jeans and gray converse that were so warn out you could see the fabric tear away from the dirty, white rubber. Cartman was so seemingly upset that his cheeks were dark red and getting redder by the second. A red that put Kyle's day walker hair to shame.

     "Hoes are mad, (Y/n)! Absolutely fucking furious! You will not believe who ganged up on me today just because I scolded Butters!!"

     "I'm sorry, did you just refer to your self as a hoe?"

     "Yes! I am at a class 7 hoes mad right now! I am fucking livid! Like, I am about to commit genocide!" The brunette yelled, his unique accent as present as ever. Cartman had actually gotten better about his odd accent after Mr. Mackey requested him to go through speech therapy in middle school. But even now as an 18 year old, his accent seethed through his speech whenever he worked himself up, which was more often than not.

      His outburst had him breathing heavily and you swore you could see steam pouring out of his nose like a goddamn bull. You got up from your desk and sat down at the foot of your bed, leaving your studies to comfort the overzealous teenager.

     "Ok? Well can you can you calm down and tell me what happened?" You questioned as Cartman threw his fat ass on the spot next to you.

     "OK! SO! We were all sitting in the library for study hall right? Right! And Butters was being a whiny bitch saying—" as Eric continued his mindless rant, you noticed his hand movements became more animated and his voice began to raise to decibels louder than any human should ever be allowed to go.

     "And Kyle had the God forsaken balls to tell my superior ass that I was being too blunt! AND YOU KNOW WHO TOOK HIS SIDE??! IT WAS KENNY!! KENNY OF ALL PEOPLE—"

     His voice not only became louder, but his sentences became slurred in a fit of rage as he stared spouting out mindless insults at his so-called-friends as fast as he could. His stuttering became a constant mess. His accent became thicker and thicker to the point where it was almost incoherent. Not being able to process a word your chubby companion was saying, you did the only thing you thought was necessary to calm him down.

     You grabbed him roughly by the face mid sentence and smashed your lips into his plump ones.

     After a moment of shock, your boyfriend let out an grunt of displeasure. He obviously did not want to be interrupted, although he had calmed down significantly. He didn't really kiss back. He more just gave up and closed his eyes and let you abuse his lips with forceful kisses.

     You were more than glad to see him in a calmed state. Sometimes, when he would lash out, he would become so angry that he would shake and cry out of pure frustration. Other times he would throw things and break his belongings, though he never even dreamed of laying a hand on you. Eric had managed to become stable around you. He was still an asshole, but this 6 foot grizzly bear would turn into a soft teddy bear when it was just the two of you. Even in public, he was more docile when you were with him than he would be if you were not.

      Once you were sure Cartman was passive, you removed your lips off of him and looked up to see his pouting face. "Are you calm right now?" He hesitantly nodded. "Ok, can you tell me what happened slowly, please??" You question.

He looked down a bit flustered but continued his rant a bit slower and more coherent and when he started to wind down, his eyes darted to yours and he stared at you for a moment. He didn't say it, but you knew from the look in his eyes that he was grateful for you. He knew no one else would ever listen to him like you did. He didn't know how to say how much you really meant to him. A thousand thoughts would cross his mind but he never could find a way to put them into the right words. He loved you and he hoped you knew it. And you did.

     You gave him a soft smile and reset your hands on his cheeks once again, but a little more gently this time. He is your teddy bear after all. You leaned in just to see what would happen and his eyes flashed to your lips and his mouth parted slightly. You took this as a sign that it was ok to kiss him, doing so caused him to kiss back immediately.

"I love you..."