Cartman oneshotzzz

The Adventures of Birth Control

It was time.....

     You were sixteen and it was just time...... Time for birth control of course!!!

     You and your parents had a talk. You told them that your periods were un-fucking-bearable. They were so heavy and lasted up to seven or eight days, with three of those days containing uncontrollable cramps that consumed every ounce of energy you had. The worst part is that they were all over the place! Sometimes you would start them earlier in the month and then the next month they would come a week, or even two weeks later!!! It got to the point where you couldn't even keep track of your cycles anymore and seeing that birth control was supposed to have a positive effect on your periods to make them more manageable, you asked your parents if you could take some.

They of course agreed!

    They felt it was a wise decision considering that it was the year 2020 and anything could happen, especially in the town of South Park. You also had a loving boyfriend! Neither of you had sex before, but in case you were ever feeling frisky enough to fuck, you decided that birth control was better than no birth control (especially considering that your boyfriend was never good at restraining himself in any case, so pulling out probably was not an option).

     This conversation lead you to driving down the road to the nearest pharmacy a week later. As you arrived, you put your beat up G6 in park and walked right in. You found yourself wandering around trying to find the medicine counter. After a few minutes of loitering and looking at the condom isle for shits and giggles, you finally found the counter and asked the nice lady, with uncomfortably enormous tits popping out of her shirt, if your prescription birth control was ready. She gave you a look up and down as if she was sizing you up, turned to the bags of medicine behind her and grabbed up three small packets of birth control.

      "(Y/n) (L/n), correct?" She questioned with a bored expression.

"Yeah, that's me."

     "This is for three months worth so you don't need to be back for a while."

Ah.. how rude.

     She proceeded to ring you up at the register and sent you off on your way with three months worth of prescriptions. You drove back to your house and went directly to your bathroom upstairs after grabbing a bottled water from the fridge. It was about 8:00 pm so you decided to just go ahead and take the pill right then. You broke out one of the packages and popped a small pill out from its container. You stared at it for a minute while turning your hand to get a better look.

     "Wow (L/n)... your so fucking old now." You joked with yourself and placed the pill on your tongue. With a twist of the cap, you cracked open the water bottle that sat patiently on the counter for you and took a massive swig to wash the pill down. Some pills were ungodly large and tasted like shit, so you were thankful that the pill you just took, and would proceed to take for the next three months, was small and tasted of nothing at all. You settled on not telling your boyfriend about your new medication. He might love you to no end, but damn! The man would tease you to no end too, if he found out. You also settled on heading to bed for the night after texting your boyfriend goodnight.

      The next morning was an irritable one. It had seemed like you not only woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but you had also woken up upside down and suspended from the ceiling.... figuratively of course. You knew you weren't feeling like taking anybody's shit that day so you got ready as slow as possible and grabbed a s'more flavored pop tart on the way out. This saved you from an uncomfortable chat with your parents about how you felt on birth control. You pulled up to school in your junk car and grudgingly stepped out onto the parking lot to walk up the school entrance. Before you could get too far, something had stopped you. That something was the loud and raspy voice of you charming boyfriend calling your name repeatedly.