Cartman oneshotzzz

French Fry Fetish

(Smut kinda)

You and Eric Cartman had been dating for about a year now.

You both were perfectly fine with the relationship you had and were pretty damn confident in it. Neither of you have had sex before and that was fine too. Your relationship was mostly focused on keeping each other happy and getting into countless amounts of mischief, as one does when dating Eric Cartman. I mean.... Cartman had seen Heidi Turners vagina in the 4th grade and you had looked up BDSM porn a few times just so see what all the fuss was about, but other than that you guys were total virgins. Sex hadn't really mattered to you when you were younger, but since you both were at the old as hell age of 18, it was probably time to start getting interested in that type of thing.

Currently, you are with your chonky boyfriend in the car on the way to his house from Denny's. You guys had bacon milkshakes and fries to go so that you could get back to his place in time to watch the latest shitty Star Wars Disney movie. You had an open bag of extra large fries in between the front driver and passenger seats and you and Cartman were pigging out. You were in the drivers seat this time around since it was your turn to burn gas and his turn to pay for the meal. You can bet your ass Cartman tried to find a way out of paying for Denny's, but you told him that if he didn't pay, he was a total fat pussy.

And Eric Cartman is neither fat nor a pussy!!

Long story short. He ended up paying.

You reached you hand into the bag of salty, potato-y goodness and grabbed a bit to many fries than planned. Keeping your eyes steadied on the road, you brought the fries to your lips. Cartman watched you do so. He watched as a single fry and some grains of salt sliped between your fingers just before touching your bottom lip. The fry landed horizontally right between your legs, salt and grease coating your inner thighs.

Now honestly, Cartman never really liked the idea of pleasuring others. Of course he had thought about fucking you into his bed sheets, but that was mostly for his own enjoyment. But right now, he couldn't help but wonder what your reaction would be if he stooped down and grabbed that fry on your lap. Man, that fry was looking tasty as fuck too. He then began to wonder what would happen if his hands weren't involved in the eating of the french thigh. I mean, french fry thigh....

I mean, Thigh French Fry ™.

His mind took him to a not so innocent scenario where he found himself positioned snuggly between your thighs. You sitting on the edge of his bed waiting patiently, possibly blind folded, while he was kneeling on the floor with his hands gripping your plump thighs. He imagined him self licking off the grease and salt between your bare legs. Watching you shiver with pleasure as he devoured your pussy like it was a $20 KFC value meal.

What if there was more than just grease.....

He thought about sweet things coating your stomach, maybe syrup or whipped cream, as he dragged his hot, wet tongue up your waist all the way to the pleasure spot on your neck. He didn't know where it was since he had never kissed you there, but God damnit he wasn't gonna remove his mouth until he found it. He wanted to hear you moan out his name until it-

     "Cartman!" Your voice ripped him from his fantasies. His face was steaming red.

     "You've been salivating over the fry in my lap for about 60 seconds now. Do you want it?"

Oh God.

     "Uhhh..." he tried to think of how he could possibly say yes without saying something along the lines of: 'I want to eat a lot more than that fry down there.'

"Yeah! I want the french thigh!"

God fucking Damnit!!

"You mean french fry??" You questioned him, trying not to burst out in laughter and tears at his freudian slip.

"U-uhh! Yeah! That's what I said!" He stated nervously, trying to play it off.

"Well you get it, so I don't have to take my hands off the wheel."

You mostly suggested that just to get a reaction out of him. If you were so concerned with driving safely you wouldn't have gone for the fries in the first place! You did indeed end up getting a reaction out of him. His face felt like it was on fire and his eyes widened at your sudden command. Nevertheless, he got his shit together and reached down for the fry. Slowly but surely, his already greasy fingers began to ghost over your thigh. God you were soft! Eric contemplated leaving his hand there for just a moment, but then decided that it would be kind of creepy so he just went for the potato stick.

The fry was placed perfectly in between the crease of where your thighs met so that meant he had to dig his chubby hand down there to get it. His hand pressed in the crease of your thighs, but that just ended up pushing the fry, salt and greasy residue even further down between your legs. You rolled your eyes at his clumsy attempt.

"Why are you making this so hard, dude?"

So hard.

That was Cartman in a nutshell right now.

You opened your legs a bit more and let the fry fall down onto the seat. Maybe it would be easier for your dumb boyfriend to get that way. This made Cartman visibly gulp. His hand lingered on top of your skin for a moment as he psyched himself up to play the 'find the fry in the greased up gap between your girlfriends precious thighs' game. He appeared to be losing. I mean, how hard could this be?? Eric Cartman never turned down food, let alone Denny's! So why would he turn it down now???

With a full boost of confidence your boyfriend harshly thrusted his hand down by your crotch and ripped that fry up from its holding place like King Arthur and the sword in the stone. This caused your body to tense and your arms to jerk the steering wheel to the far right, swerving the vehicle and curb checking the nearest sidewalk. You regained control of the steering wheel as Cartman chucked the lone french fry in his mouth.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, CARTMAN!?"

"Sorry, I panicked..." he said with a mouth full off thigh french fry ™.

Thankfully you turned down Cartman's street and into his driveway before you could yell at him some more. You both got out of the car and proceeded to the door as Eric fumbled for his keys. You felt the grease and salt rub against your inner thighs as you walked.

"Aw great! Now my legs feel all gross." You complained. Cartman thought about his fantasy in the car as he unlocked the door. Could he possibly have a food play fetish?

"I need to wash the Denny's grease off my legs before I go insane. I'll be right back." You informed him as you started to walk towards the nearest bathroom.

"Wait!"

Before you could get very far, you felt a large hand grab your wrist. Cartman turned you around. Keeping a gentle hold around your arm, he put a firm hand on your hip before meeting your gaze with half lidded eyes and saying.....

"I have another way we could clean you off~"