Chapter Two

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[A/N; please play the song added whilst you read for the //feeeeelssss//]

ELIOTT

I ended up staying in. I could hear Toby and boys in the other room; even then, I made no attempts to go out there. 

In all honesty, I hadn't been 'getting out there' ever since he walked out. 

It all happened so quick. Just yesterday we were sitting beside each other on a big rock beside a lake in the deserted area of a dense forest, throwing stones into the lake and watching as the fish scattered away in panic. Just yesterday we were messing about with his younger brother, drawing little stars onto his face as he slept. Just yesterday we were in each other's arms, crying about us failing on our finals. 

Just yesterday he had been with me. 

By my side, telling me everything would be just fine; telling me he would never leave my side. 

And now yesterday feels so far away. 

I looked to my side with a bitter chuckle. 

"I'll never leave your side, Eli. Even if the Gods above try to force us apart."

Where are you now then? Why are you not by my side?

Coincidentally, that was also the day when I'd been informed that he would be moving away. Only a few hours after he had confessed his true feelings for me, falling onto his knees in the middle of the road with tears pouring down his cheeks. 

"I don't like you the way friends should, Eli."

"That's good, I don't like you the way friends should either, Eric."

I felt my heart begin to seize up in my chest once again. I remembered that day so vividly, almost as if it were out of a play the both of us had been rehearsing hours on end for. 

But truthfully, none of it was rehearsed. None of us had spent hours practicing our confession. It just happened all at once. 

All at once. 

With him, everything was all at once.

Everything was a surprise. He was a box full of surprises; and even when you thought you'd had him all figured out, he would surprise you once again. 

I was never too fond of surprises; but with him, I found myself wanting more and more. 

My eyes were watering once again. 

"Stop laughing like that, you sound like an idiot." I'd said to him one night as we sat on separate swings, kicking at the sand beneath our feet; laughing with each other under the light of a million, if not a billion stars. 

And now I'd kill to hear him laugh like that one more time. 

I'd taken everything for granted. I'd taken the time we spent together for granted. 

I had taken him for granted. 

He didn't even come say goodbye when he was leaving; and I didn't bother visit him. 

And I regretted that to this very day.

I should have raced out of my home and embraced him the tightest I could the moment I saw his family loading the suitcases into that van. I should have at least given him a little wave or a smile when he looked my way. 

But neither of us did anything. 

He looked away, as did I. 

He left, I did as well. 

He took a part of me when he left that day, and I couldn't even manage to steal a grain of him. 

Toby was right. He was probably elsewhere hanging out with his new group of friends, he'd probably found himself a new lover who treated him the way he deserved to be treated; way better than I could ever treat him. 

I averted my gaze from the crescent moon to the little box that lay atop my nightstand. 

It was a 'time-vault', or so we had called it. 

I had made one for him as well. We had packed secret things inside said 'vault', and were only allowed to open them a decade after receiving them.

It had been more than a decade, and I still couldn't find myself opening it. 

It would bring too many negative emotions, too many memories I was forcing myself to forget. It was Pandora's box. 

'Open it', a voice in me nagged.

With a sigh, I looked back at the moon. 

I'd always associated the moon with happy things, even though they reminded me a painful amount of a lover I had lost. 

The moon was my happiness - the Eric I'd never be able to touch; but could admire from a far distance - and that was more than enough. 

The ache in my heart began to worsen and my breaths became quick-paced. My vision blurred, as did my thoughts; and I did the only thing I could think of at that moment. I jumped into bed and forced my eyes shut. 

Now that I think about it, it was silly for me to do that. 

If I struggled to forget about him when I was awake, how on Earth would I forget about him in my sleep?

Even with my eyes closed, I could still see him.

Even with my body shutting down, I could still almost feel him. 

Even with me being so far gone into slumber, I still dreamt of him. 

I dreamt of us beside that lake once again, and he gave me that smile I longed to see. If I would never see him again, seeing him in my dreams was enough.

This was enough, was it not?

If that were the case, then why was my heart still hurting? 






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