Kaleidoscopic

Chapter 37

The skate park was vacant – except for a red-haired boy dangling his legs over the vert of the halfpipe. He was seated with his skateboard in his lap, idly spinning one of the wheels with his finger. Evan approached Jackson from behind, claiming the empty space next to him.

The two boys sat there, high above the melted snow. It was the time of day when everything looked like it was being seen through a transparent coffee stain. The reddish-brown sun met the flat land with a hazy overlay of orange, painting Des Plaines with the new warmth of spring.

"Who told you?" Jackson asked, setting aside his skateboard.

"Heather," Evan answered. "She said you'd be here."

There wasn't much to look at, so Evan chose to fix his attention on Jackson's Vans. They were scuffed and the strings were frayed, but the navy-blue zigzag was still visible. He smiled mildly, imagining a young Jackson picking out a pair of new shoes.

"I know we're not exactly feuding right now," Jackson spoke. "But that doesn't mean you have to be my friend."

Evan didn't know where to start. He had so much to say, but he didn't know how to say it.

"My mom died last spring," Evan started. "I think you know that. I think everyone knows that."

Jackson turned his head slowly, connecting their eyes.

"It was a car crash. That's the part I don't like to talk about," Evan explained. "She hit a deer and was killed on impact. The car was totaled."

"You don't have to tell me...I, um," Jackson was gentle. "I read the newspaper article."

Evan swallowed. "My dad was in Italy for work," he continued. "My sister was a wreck, so I had to pick up the car."

Jackson started connecting the dots.

"The fender looked like a crumpled paper ball," Evan whispered, remembering. "And the windshield was completely shattered. There was no fixing it. The car was gone, and so was my mom."

Jackson sat there and listened. He wondered if Evan had ever told the whole story to anyone else.

"I lost it. I screamed and cried and begged for someone to fix that damn car," Evan's voice shook. "We had another car, but I needed to fix that one. I thought it'd bring her back – bring my mom back. I screamed and screamed and sobbed...Until I felt someone wrapped their arms around me."

The remnants of sunlight had cast a shadow on Evan's cheek in the shape of his side profile. Jackson thought it was the closest thing to Heaven he would ever see.

"And he held me," tears formed in Evan's eyes. "Calmly. Steady. He let me cry. And didn't let go."

Danny. The name was a string connecting their punctured hearts.

"And when I could finally breathe again," he said. "He wiped away my tears. And told me everything would be okay."

"Why are you telling me this?" It hurt to talk.

"It's not the same," Evan explained. "But, um...I know what it's like – to feel alone. I know what it's like to need someone next to you, but be too numb to ask."

Evan wiped away his own tears, and then dried his hand on his jeans. Jackson didn't know why he did it, but he decided to outstretch his arm and upturn his palm, close enough to graze their pinkies together. Evan skimmed the pale boy's skin until their fingers were linked, and then eventually, so were their hands.

Evan appreciated the gesturing, releasing a shaky exhale. It was comforting to have a hand to hold without any other expectations.

"The car was never fixed," Evan added. "But Danny gave me the license plate. It was bent and dinged, but I still kept it. I was grateful, but I was so embarrassed. I couldn't even talk to him. I gave him some cash, and wrote 'thank you' on one of the dollars. He didn't find it until he was getting a soda from a vending machine a couple days later."

Jackson watched him talk – just watched. And that's when he figured it out...That's how Danny fell so hard for Evan Webster. When Evan talked he really meant what he said. And he felt it too, every word.

"Then he left a bottle of coke on the hood of my car with another dollar...'You okay?'" Evan recalled. "That's all he wrote."

"He was checking on you," Jackson observed.

Evan nodded. "I wasted a lot of dollars after that."

"I'm sorry," Jackson breathed. Sorry for ruining something so precious.

Evan shook his head. "I don't blame you," he said, quiet. "Danny likes being a savior. I guess we both needed saving."

If there was a God, Jackson hoped he or she would grant him mercy because he was starting to think it wouldn't be so bad spending an eternity in paradise with a boy like Evan.

Jackson hadn't realized he was staring at Evan's mouth until the white-haired boy leaned forward. They shared their second kiss, delicately taking each other's lips. Jackson swore he had already become addicted.

"Why'd you kiss me this time?"

"Because I wanted to," Evan revealed, hushed.

"Good," Jackson replied, leaning forward again. "So did I."

Two monarchs, prevailing over a kingdom of chain-link fences and concrete prairies – kissing after battle.