In the middle of Des Plaines Illinois three boys find themselves in a tangled knot of angsty lust and amateur love.
Evan Webster has an average American life. When he isn't at swim practice or the movie theater, he's trying to make time to study bi...
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Evan woke up to the distant clang of pots and pans. The sun was already streaming through the front window, casting light over the living room carpet. Evan stretched out on the polyester couch, making his legs collide with something solid.
It was Danny, lying parallel to him. His head was on the opposite side of the couch, letting his own feet and Evan's legs coexist in the middle section. He was a lot smaller than Evan, so he had tucked himself into the seam of the couch and let the taller boy sprawl out. The gesture was purposeful, Evan assumed. But he still hogged most of the quilt—probably because he was still shivering from the ice bath.
Carefully, Evan maneuvered his way off the cushions. Danny didn't stir, so Evan decided to raise the blanket over his shoulder. He looked down at the boy with dark hair, thinking of all the times he had wished Danny would've stayed the night. He never imagined it would be like this.
He exited the snore-filled room and entered the attached kitchen, seeing a redhead looking for a jar of nutmeg.
"I'm making pancakes," Jackson said per greeting, seemingly unaffected by Evan and Danny sharing the couch.
"Jackson," Evan began, gesturing his hand towards the couch in the living room. "We fell asleep..."
"Evan," he said, waking towards him. "I get it. You don't owe me an explanation." He had done worse with Danny.
"I didn't want to leave him alone because—"
"Ev," Jackson stepped closer. He kissed him once, quick. "It's really okay."
Jackson turned back to his cooking, measuring some flour. Evan just stared at him—awed. Was this the same guy who screamed at him at the semi-finals? He used to be so hotheaded, impulsive, explosive. Maybe all this time, the only thing Jackson really needed was stability. Had he finally found that within Evan? Or had he stolen that stability from Danny?
Evan sat down at the table as Jackson grabbed a whisk and started stirring the pancake mix. He liked being in a real kitchen instead of tiny trailer with only a mini stove and broken toaster. Evan admired his careful hands and brisk, confident motions.
"How'd you get Tony to let Danny leave?" Jackson wondered, dripping some batter onto a hot pan.
Evan blinked, triggered by Tony's name. "What?"
"Tony," Jackson repeated. "I figured he was super possessive over all the guys in his...group? Gang? Crew? Pack? Whatever the hell people call them. I wonder why he let you leave with Danny?"
Evan watched Jackson flip a pancake, stalling his reply. He breathed slowly, acting casual when he said, "Tony was my first kiss."
Jackson let a mid-flip pancake land on the counter, stunned. "Tony Valenti?"
Evan nodded, remembering. He had never actually told anyone the story.
"We were kids. He broke his arm and I felt sorry for him. Actually, Nadine broke his arm. I went to his house after school—I wanted to bring him a comic book to cheer him up. And then he kissed me. Right there in his bedroom. That's how I, um, I realized..." He paused, clearing his throat. "But I think it affected him a little differently."
"What do you mean?" Jackson had turned off the stovetop.
"He became an asshole," Evan admitted. "A real fucking jerk. To everyone—except me. He just...never spoke to me ever again after our kiss. And then he built himself up, into this person. Into this thing. Maybe he regrets it. Maybe he's trying to convince himself he isn't what he really is. I don't know. But last night, when he saw me at Summerfest. He was scared. As if I had some sort of power over him. I think that's why he tries to be so tough. He likes to make people feel the same fear he experiences every day."
It was the same fear Danny harbored. The same'fear that Evan was so, so afraid would turn into hate. Evan had seen it happen—with Tony.
"You think he's afraid you'll tell people?"
"Yeah, but," Evan started. "I wouldn't tell anyone. I mean, other than you. I don't have any secrets with you."
Fucking hell. Why was Evan so trusting? Why did he have to see the good in everyone? Why did he have to think so highly of humanity? And how did he just saunter through life without any qualms? He was a vortex. He sucked in everything and still remained an unstoppable force.
But Jackson was a star ready to implode—preparing to engulf everything in the dark aftermath.
"I enlisted," Jackson blurted. It was the only secret he had left.
"What?" Evan chuckled. "Enlisted in what? A Mary Kay subscription?"
"No, Evan." Jackson breathed. "I enlisted in the army."
"The army?" Evan questioned, taken aback. "When?"
"Earlier this year," Jackson said. "That's why I broke up with Heather." And why he was willing to be so casual with Danny. He had never planned on staying in Des Plaines.
"What the hell are you saying right now? You joined the military? And you didn't think to tell me?"
"This was always my plan, Evan," Jackson tried to explain. "College was never a thought for me. And I can't stay here, not with my mom. I need to get out. This is my only option. I never thought—"
"When do you leave?" Evan wasn't the type of person to mince words. He knew how the military worked.
Jackson chewed on the inside side of his lip, leaving Evan's question unanswered for a few seconds. He had finally gotten the guy he had always wanted and now he was about to ruin everything—again.
