Desperado: A Holes Fanfiction

Ty

I should have known Squid would take the lights on in the laundry room as an invitation. I wasn't in there for a couple minutes before he barged through the door.

"Hey, I heard all that screamin'. You okay?" He slid a hand into the nape of my neck and massaged my cheek with a calloused thumb. I shook my head and he pulled me in for a kiss. I craved the comfort of a warm body. Any body to take my mind off that terrible nightmare. Before I knew it, Squid had a hand up my night shirt. It didn't feel right.

"Mmm mmm," I pulled back shaking my head, "Not tonight."

He sighed, "Come on, it's been like a week. I'm all backed up here," He grabbed my waist and kissed me again.

"I said no," I pulled back once more.

"What's with you?" He groaned, "You've been real weird ever since Caveman got here."

"I don't just feel good, okay?"

"You never feel good," he scoffed, "What? You don't like me anymore?" He took another step forward with a smirk on his face.

I backed against one of the washing machines, careful to keep my voice low, "Squid, I said no..." He continued kiss my neck and shove his hands up my shirt before we were both startled by the sound of Caveman clearing his throat by the door.

"Jesus, dude," Squid jumped back, "Knock first."

"Sorry," His eyes were soft and focused on mine, "I lost my hat and I thought I'd check the lost and found." His hair was still wet from the shower, so I reckon he'd just gotten back from digging. Besides, Camp Green Lake doesn't have a lost and found. He was buying me time.

"Yeah," I said and I nodded towards a hamper of clean socks and under shirts, "Check that hamper over there." He nodded.

Squid rolled his eyes and returned his focus to me and pinched my chin, "Anyway, I hope you feel better." He sauntered out of the laundry room, obnoxiously knocking over another hamper of clean jumpsuits on his way out.

"You didn't have to do that," I said to Stanley.

"Yes, I did" he said, "Are you okay?"

"I am," I lied, struggling to keep a straight face. My cheeks grew hot as I fought back tears so I turned away from him to hide them. "I'm fine. I'm just.... I am so tired...." Before I could blink the tears effortlessly flowed down my cheeks, forming small puddles in my dimples. I couldn't stop them. "God, I just feel like everybody wants something from me." As I rubbed my eyes, I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, "I don't have that much to give."

"Yeah, I think I know what you mean," Stanley said. My body filled with his warmth. For the first time in a while, I felt safe. Before I knew it, my face was buried in his chest, desperate for more of that feeling. He wrapped his arms around my heaving shoulders as I sobbed. With an ear pressed to his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat soothed me. I closed my eyes and searched his soul for dirt, leverage. I searched for darkness, deceit, a threat, anything and saw nothing. No man had ever been that nice to me without a catch. It didn't take long before my own insidious shame and self-loathing showed its face: The real monster that lurked under my bed.

I could hear my mother's voice in my head, "Don't you dare cry," she'd say, "Don't ever let them see how weak you are. You need to be strong for your brother." I slowly pushed Stanley away and took a step back.

"I'm sorry," I cleared my throat and wiped my face once more, "I shouldn't have – You should go back to your tent. Mr. Sir gets real testy when he finds campers out this late."

"I don't mind staying," he said, "You look like you could use some company." His sweetness made me smile. He didn't want anything from me at all.

I took a seat on the floor in front of one of the dryers and crossed my legs. "It's your funeral," I said with a sigh. He chuckled and took a seat next to me.

"So tell me how you ended up here," he said.

I laughed and reached into my jacket pocket for another cigarette. I lit one and inhaled deep, indulging in the taste of smoke I'd missed so much. Mr. Sir was still convinced Lou was stealing his cigarettes, but that was all me. I slowly exhaled the smoke along with the anxiety I held deep in my chest, "How long do you have?" We sat there for hours and talked about how I ended up at Green Lake. We talked about how my mom abandoned Hector and I when we were little. We talked about Bible Study and our failed attempts to make it rain in Camp Green Lake with magic. We talked about the other campers.

"If Squid is such a jerk, why are you with him?"

"I'm not with anybody," I corrected, "He has a good heart. He's just never learned how to show love properly, like most of us."

We talked and talked and talked until I eventually fell asleep in his arms. I woke up on the laundry room floor in the morning. A rolled towel was propped under my head as a pillow and another clean towel draped over me as a blanket. I sat up to find a neatly folded piece of paper on the floor in front of me with "Ty" printed on the front. I unfolded it and snorted as I held the handwritten note close to my heart.

A Letter – SY

Stanley would visit me in the laundry room for the next four nights, helping me fold towels and avoid sleep. He'd go back to the D-Tent after a while to avoid suspicion. One early morning, Lou caught me trying to sneak back into our cottage. I wasn't expecting to see her sitting on my bed when I returned. "Feeling better?" she asked. I stayed silent and I rummaged through my drawers for something clean to change into. "The silent treatment, huh? You could at least tell me what you saw," she said.

"I said I don't want to talk about it," I shot back. I still couldn't look at her.

"What on Earth has gotten into you? Pendanski told me about counseling. Young lady, I am talking to you," She followed me into the kitchen. Her voice was stern and impatient. I started washing the dishes in the sink to avoid the conversation. She crossed her arms and asked "Where did you sleep last night?"

"What?" I said.

"Where did you sleep last night?" she repeated, "I waited up for you all night. You think I don't notice you sneaking off with what's his name at night? Might I remind you that you are not to fraternize with the campers under any circumstances -"

"I wasn't –"

"DON'T interrupt me," she took a step towards me, "Those boys are thugs, delinquents. You are a gifted young woman with talent and –"

"My brother is one of those thugs, remember?"

"Your brother is a criminal!"

"And your granddaddy was a jealous prick who couldn't handle rejection," I spat. Once again, the tears pooled behind my wide eyes. 

"Excuse me?" she slowly approached me with her hands on her hips. That was the first time I'd ever talked back to her. It felt good. As fearful as I was, I stood my ground. She looked like she wanted to hit me. I was fuming enough to hit her back if she did. We were suddenly interrupted by a knock at the door. It was Mr. Sir and Stanley.