You Are My Death Boy

Chapter 3: Death Boy

     Well it looks like the cat is out of the bag.

     When Emily told me that she knew that I was.... That I was....that I was different, I just kinda stared at her for a while before dragging myself over to my cabin. I was in a daze. It didn't feel like I was awake or even alive really.

     Once I was in my cabin, I sighed and locked the door. I had a cabin all to myself because Hazel was over at Camp Jupiter right now with Frank. I fell to the ground and suddenly tears were pouring down my face.

     Why did my luck have to be so terrible? Why me? Of all people, why would the fates inflict this on me? I had to be the son of Hades. I had to be older than everyone here. I had no friends and I had to be gay. Nobody liked me. Not even Percy, or Jason, or Hazel or any of the seven. Nobody even understood me. The only one who ever did was Bianca. And she had to d-die....

     I pulled up my sleeves and looked at all my old scars. They were pink and really sore. I sobbed and dragged myself over to my bed. The cabin was all black and red and the beds looked more like coffins than beds. Children of Hades were people not vampires. I hate the people who made this cabin. I hate everyone in Camp Half-Blood for being mean to me. I hate Jason for trying to act like he understands me. I hate Percy for killing Bianca. I hate Annabeth for-for everything. I hate everyone and everything. But most of all, I hate myself.

     I kept crying but quieter this time. I traced the old scars that were left from my razor. I had been clean for almost a week now, I have really been trying but I just can't handle it. Life is just too horrible. Life is hard, death is easy. Maybe....just maybe. I want it to be easy. I don't want to have to struggle to do everything. Maybe things would be better and easier for everyone if I just left. Forever. I probably won't get the fields of punishment. I haven't been that horrible, right?

     I pushed that thought out of my mind. Don't think, just do. I reached under the mattress to a razor that I had hidden in between a bunch of blankets. Maybe.....just maybe....

     I took off my shirt and threw it on the floor. I sat down on my bed and hung my legs over the side. I kept crying and muttering to myself. I positioned my arm across my legs and pressed the razor on top of all my old scars. I sobbed and I felt tears drip down my face and on my bare chest. I closed my eyes and added some more pressure to the razor in my hand.

      I sucked in my breath as some blood escaped my skin. I bit my lip and continued. One line for everything wrong with me. One line for everything I did wrong. For every mistake I ever made. For every-

     Then I heard a knock on the door. What do I do? I looked down at my arm. It was covered in blood from my wrist to my elbow. All across. I tried to stop myself from making a sound but it's kinda hard to do that when you were just sobbing.

     I tried not to take a breath but my lungs begged for more oxygen so I sucked in some air. I breathing was ragged and when I tried to be quiet, it seemed like I was even louder than before. I heard another knock on the door.

     "Nico? Nico its me, Will"

     I froze. What was Will Solace doing here? My arm burned and I winched. Will's voice sounded worried and concerned and anxious. I heard another rap on the door. "Nico! Nico, open up! I hear you crying in there! What's wrong?" His voice was soft but with an edge to it. He seemed truly concerned but I was probably just imagining it.

     I took another breath and dropped my razor to the floor. "Go away Will. Please please just go away." I sobbed. I can't believe I sounded so weak. I'm supposed to be strong. Or at least pretend I'm strong in front of other people. "Please Will, please" I whispered. Tears were coming down my eyes harder now, making my vision blury. I blinked a few times.

     I didn't near anything for a while and I thought Will had left. I didn't know whether to be happy or sad that he did. I sighed and continued to cry. I don't know how long I just sat there but after a while my cabin door swung open and I caught a glimpse of Will standing in the doorway with a paperclip in his hand. It was hard to see through my tears but Will looked horrified.

     Will just stared at me for a second and took in the scene in front of him. His eyes got crowded with a bunch of different feelings that I couldn't quite identify. He covered his mouth with his hands and whispered "Oh gods Nico. What did you do?"