HUMNAVA MERE ☑

Chapter 51

The night had fallen beautifully and the glass covered balcony overlooked at the sky clear of any clouds glimmering with the tiny stars. Shehnaaz sat besides Sidharth on the cane swing holding her mug of coffee
The silence between them was eerie as they sat their sipping on their coffee. The garden was nothing like Shehnaaz had seen it earlier and yet it was so familiar and warm. The lights were dim out there, the swing was on one corner, a two seat small comfortable place. The plants covered the wall in front of the swing and there was another small sitting space below it covered with fairy lights emitting pearl white light.

Shehnaaz could not believe her eyes, this small thing meant a lot. Their first meeting at their home when they sat in a gargen much alike this one way past midnight. Shehnaaz smiled remembering this and slightly turned her eyes too look at Sidharth whose lips were curved into a sweet small smile and knew he was thinking about the same. The time then was so different, the way they just sat their through the night slowly cherishing memories of past, sharing their happy moments and who knew it was way back then when they were tied together with the stars at witness, their hearts felt calmer in each other's vicinity and that was what had set the stone of their relationship. Trust, possessiveness, attachment ce later on and maybe....her heart beating against her chest trying to propel her to accept buy the brain froze..maybe left uncomplete..though she knew what it was but her insides churned, refused, scared prohibited her to even accept to herself.

'But what is the problem? He is all what you need, your home?' her heart tried to scream.
'But what if this spoils everything, destroys the peace, my safe home, what if' .....and her insides were now summersaulting. 'It is so beautiful this way, but for how long? Love is inevitable but still why put it in words, what if doing so turned everything.' 'He is the best thing that ever happened to me and I won't spoil, I can't....this is beautiful' she told herself. The fight inside her brain ached her heart. She wanted to wrap around him, wanting him to hold her tightly. The feelings are sometimes so difficult to accept, so scary. She was burning inside, her past had rendered deep marks upon her, the marks so deeply embedded in her. She feared not loving which every cell in her knew she had fallen for him...she feared accepting it, she feared him, leaving.

She closed her eyes trying to slow down her pace of heart.
'Yaad hai...' Sidharth broke the silence. Shehnaaz turned to look at him. He was still staring at the sky. He continued, 'Punjab m jb hm Tere garden m baither the?'
'Hmm' Shehnaaz said looking away from him, at the sky.
'Kbhi socha bhi nhi tha uss time kbhi aisa bhi ho skta hai' he continued after a second's pause. Shehnaaz let out a soft chuckle.
'Maine bhi nhi' she said with honesty.
The silence fell again but soon Sidharth spoke again.
'Sach bolun, ye hoga nhi pta tha but JB wahaan baatein ki na mujhe nhi yaas usse pehle kb ki, kiske saath ki...kuch alag that...jb Bigg boss m pehli baar mile tb bhi lga tha but'
'M wahaan mehmaan this?'
'Hmm'
'M ek Sach bolun?'
He turned towards her now and smiled.
'M na bhut bdi fan thi, Kya vo die-hard fangirl bhut pehle se...the se jb se tu mere liye shiv tha, ideal husband?' she completed with chuckle.

'Matlab? Shiv ideal husband tha m nhi hu?' Sidharth frowned. Shehnaaz turned again to sky.
Sidharth sat there looking at her, moonlight serving as a natural highlighter gleaming against her skin. His heart urged to hold her, kiss those shining cheecks, the eyes reflecting the moonlight making him miss a heart beat. He was so into the moment, so blessed to have someone besides in beautiful yet lonely night. He could not muster himself to tell her how these peace, homely feeling was being exploited out there, how to tell her it doesn't matter, how to make her face it. He was lost when she rested herself on his chest letting him support her body weight. She folded her legs and one of her hand rested on his thigh.

'Tujhe m ek btau?' she asked looking still at the sky.
'Hmm' he said trying to resist his urge to hold her and kiss her.
'Mujhe na aise baithna bhut pasand hai, aise jaise abhi, Tere Dil ki dhadkan sunti hai' Shehnaaz didn't knew why she said tht, it was as if someone else spoke for her but she still knew they were true, they were from the very depths of her heart. She shifted closer to him wrapping her arms around him and closed her eyes. His beating synced with her's. He sat transfixed weighing her words, he felt his arms close around her, his heart screamed and he knew she was there to calm him with such a power that she held the power to his smile as well to cause him pain.