My Broken Luna (REWRITTEN VERSION)

12. Alpha Comes to Play

12. Alpha Comes to Play: Xander's Pov

Charlotte doesn't speak much for the next few hours. She didn't say a word during the drive home and barely seemed to acknowledge being led into the house when we got home. All my wolf and I feel is concern for her, and usually we try to comfort her by holding her, but I'm being careful as to how I touch my mate right now. I don't know how she would react to me touching her how I normally do, and right now I just need to do whatever I can to make her feel safe again.

In the car she held tightly to my hand; that was the only form of interaction we had. When I pulled it out of her grasp to get out she didn't notice, nor did she notice me opening her door. The first thing she did when we got home was shower and change into a fresh set of clothing. Her showers are usually short, but the one she took today was even more rushed. Just like when she had to shower when we were on Red Stone territory, I knew it was because she didn't feel comfortable being naked, even in the privacy of herself.

As usual, her emergence from the bathroom gave no indication that she used warm water. The cold just aided in worsening her trembling. Since coming to find me at the cellars, she's been in a constant state of fear and hasn't been able to keep her body from shaking. Even in the car while she was holding my hand, she was trembling in her seat.

We're currently in the living room sitting on separate couches, which is something we never do. While at home, we're rarely ever on different floors of the house. We're almost always touching each other in some way or at least just enjoying each other's company in silence by being in the same room. I look at her often, hoping to gain her attention, but I'm never successful. She lays curled up against the arm of the other couch with her back to me, probably not even feeling my eyes on her.

I'm angry at myself for letting something like this happen to Charlotte in our own territory. She's absolutely terrified of carrying about on her own now, even though she just recently became comfortable with her newfound independence. She should be mad at me for not being able to keep her safe, for not taking the proper precautions to ensure her security, but I know she doesn't place any blame on anyone except herself. Somehow she always finds a way to convince herself that she's the problem, even if that's far from the truth.

Charlotte turns around after a while, now allowing me to see her face. Her arms are wrapped around herself tightly, her body curled in a ball as she blankly stares at the ground. That defeated look in her eyes is still there, similar to when she was released from the hospital after what happened in Red Stone.

Her irregular sleep schedule where she's been conscious no longer than ten hours each day has persisted. It's also still been hard for her to keep down her food. She'll eat because she knows she needs to, but she always ends up throwing up in the bathroom shortly after. It's one of the reasons she agreed to go to therapy. Everyone knows things have been off since we returned from Red Stone and we all want her to get better. Charlotte knows she has to take action to get better as well. However, things like this keep happening and cause setbacks in her progress.

She looks at me for the first time since getting home, seeming a little surprised to find me already staring at her. There are tears in her eyes along with a certain sadness that pains my wolf and I. She's hurting both physically and mentally and I'm laying here across from her with no idea how to take her pain away.

The only thing she's wearing is a t-shirt of mine. I'm not sure if she has pants on. I'm proud at the fact she still feels comfortable enough around me to dress how she pleases after what happened today, but her exposed skin makes me more wary of what my boundaries are at the moment. I don't know if it's wise to touch her as I normally would and that's a line I don't want to accidentally cross.