Tired of pretending (kiribaku)

Chapter 3: Slip-ups and regrets

Bakugos P.O.V

That damn icy-hot, always sticking his nose were it dosnet belong.

I had forgotten to do my homework last night as I hadn't felt any motivation to do anything except lay there an wallow and self pity, it had been a long night. I couldn't let my mother hear about this or she would be furious, I felt myself flinch at the thought.

I had let my guard down today , allowing icy-hot to walk all over my carefully placed mask, I wouldn't let it happen again . I just needed to get through this awful day.

I couldn't believe I had let myself fall asleep so carelessly, I always have terrible nightmare , which always seem to be changing , I can never be prepared for them.

Of course icy-hot had to go and poke around, now he's probably worried . No he couldn't be, they wouldn't care even if they knew.

Its why I don't bother to tell them about everything that's going on inside my head. They didn't need to know , if I was going to try to convince myself that I deserved to be a hero I could at-least deal with a couple wimpy problems.

Even if my mask is cracking and emotions is relief through.

I couldn't let it shatter.

Unfortunately I never get what I want.

"Hey bakubro..!" I heard kiri call out to me. I felt myself involuntarily flinch at his loud voice though I quickly tried to pretend like I was just shifting my position as I turned towards his voice.

"What do you want weird hair" I asked with a dull tone, having no energy to put into yelling.He gave me a quick glance of concern before a smile flooded his features once more.

" I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out with the bakusquad at lunch" his smile was alluring, I wanted to say yes , wanted to desperately to break the ugly cycle, but I didn't. I couldn't.

"No thanks." I mumbled, feeling my eyes start to close subconsciously. I slapped myself quickly, jolting myself awake.

"Are you okay bakubro you look exhausted ..?" He asked

"M'fine" I muttered, leaning my head on my hand in a desperate attempt to keep my eyes open. My mind was trying to force sleep upon me but I couldn't. I let out a low growl which Kirishima seemed to hear.

"Are you sure your okay ..you zoned out for a second there , you really should get some rest you know"he pleaded. I wanted so badly to do as he said but my with my exausted state I did the only thing that would get him to leave me alone. I yelled at him

"IM FINE OKAY , J-JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE" I yelled at him , the whole class turned to stare at me including are teacher.I gulped, realizing what I had just done. There eyes felt like daggers, I couldn't be there I needed to get out of there. "M'sorry Kirishima" I muttered under my breath.

"I'm going to the bathroom" I whispered as I darted through the door of the classroom before anyone could say I word.

I ran away like the coward I was, feeling tears rolling down my face. When I reached the bathroom I quickly slipped into a stall, locking it behind me just as I began to break out into a full on sob.

I had just yelled at kiri, the only one who convinced me that maybe someone  really does care . He would hate me now , more than he already did that is.

I sat there and cried until only silent sobs wracked my body. I felt extremely tired, like my limbs were frozen in place. What a great day to be alive.